The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Posts Tagged ‘The Courier-Mail

Finally, it’s starting to look more and more like the 21st century in the Sunshine State

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I hadn’t planned a TDoT post for today, but it would be remiss of me to not congratulate the Queensland Parliament for passing the bill that will allow same-sex civil unions to be recognised in the Sunshine State. It’s finally a step in the right direction, but between the amount of media coverage that the decision is receiving and some of the comments that it has provoked, I have to ask the question about where we really are with equality, tolerance and genuine open-mindedness. In my current sleep-deprived, emotionally drained condition, the most succinct way I can phrase it is this: why does there have to be so much speculation and debate about whether people deserve to be treated equally in the first place?

Isn’t this the 21st century? The question about same-sex unions shouldn’t even be an issue: it should be a basic right as human beings.

There won’t be any new TDoT posts until early next week, as I’m heading away at the weekend for my 31st birthday. Yes, I’m getting old.

The boy in the bubble strikes again…

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I was going to start this post with a big “WTF?” I could have simply posted the link to the story, bookended it with huge question marks, and left it at that. But I can’t. Because when I read about the guy that held up a Gold Coast convenience store using bubble wrap to hide his face, I’m compelled to asked questions – questions that a single article can’t answer.

Question 1: Is this a real story?

In my defence, I imagine a lot of people asked the same thing. I imagine even more were fumbling for their desk calendars to confirm it wasn’t 1 April. I image a very small percentage of people actually tried making a mask after reading the story, just to see how productive they could be while wearing packing plastic.

Question 2: What was he thinking?

I’d like to say we’ve all been there, but I can’t. Who decides that a good old armed robbery will stifle the boredom at 9:45pm on a Sunday night? Based on the facts presented in the Greg Stolz article, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume the offender won’t be renewing his Mensa membership anytime soon. That being the case, perhaps we should give him bonus points for the forethought he showed by cutting breathing holes into the mask.

Question 3: How did he get away?

Does this question really need any elaboration? The guy was wearing fucking thongs, which hardly seems like the optimal choice in getaway footware. That said, if he had of had a thong blowout, he could have wrapped the mask around his foot, but one has to assume that the popping sound as he ran down the street would have made following him rather easy.

Question 4: What flavour Slurpee did he get?

See, I ask the hard questions that mainstream publications like The Courier-Mail avoid.

The police officer interviewed in The Courier-Mail story noted that the crime seemed “fairly opportunistic.” I’m trying to determine what led the Queensland Police Service to this conclusion – do you think it was the fact that the offender wore thongs, or that he made his mask out of polyethylene sourced from a random truck?

In closing, I have one final question: were they able to identify the type of knife used by the offender? If this really was a crime of opportunity, I suggest that the boys and girls in blue get any local Sizzler restaurants to do a quick audit on their steak knives…

If anyone needs me, I’ll be selling rolls of plastic to ski shops – I hear that the “Bubble Wrap Balaclava” is going to be all the rage this winter.

Tattoo customer gets the shaft

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Life’s full of surprises.  Some good, some bad, and some are a turkey slap in the face from left field.  My surprise for the day was that after almost 3 months without blogging, I’d get to use “penis tattoo” as a tag in my first post back.  The surprise I experienced probably pales in comparison however, to the surprise a 25-year-old guy felt when he realised he had a 40cm penis tattooed on his back.  Yep, you read right.  A dick.  The family jewels.  Meat and two veg.

According to the article in The Courier-Mail, the victim had requested a yin and yang symbol along with dragons incorporated into the design, had a falling out with the amateur tattooist and then proceeded to allow him to carry out the tattooing.  What the fuck? Perhaps I am not as trusting as the victim, but there is no way in hell I would allow someone I’d just had an argument with near me with a tattoo gun.  Come to think of it, I have a rule of not allowing anyone who carries out a professional service under the amateur banner from their house near me with anything sharp.  I include DIY dentists, orthopaedic surgeons and hairdressers under this umbrella.  Each to their own, but it’s a rule that’s served me pretty well thus far: as a result of adhering to it, I don’t have a huge tattoo of a cock and an apparently offensive slogan on my back.  Nor do I have any gaps in my smile where a problem tooth has been extracted with nothing more than a pair of fencing pliers and a shot of moonshine for anaesthetic.

In reference to the offensive slogan, it appears that the tattooist misspelled the key word. What that key word was is anyone’s guess, but my question pertains to whether the spelling faux pas was a deliberate act, or whether it was the result of one too many missed English classes in high school.  I would hazard a guess that it was the latter, but this is based on two fundamental assumptions:

Assumption 1

An artist’s professionalism is reflective of the environment in which they work.  Considering this artist was working in an environment where a zap in the microwave probably constituted tool sterilisation, one can only assume he doesn’t do much research on spelling prior to putting ink to skin.

Assumption 2

The guy actually got as far as high school.

What does this whole experience teach us?  Yeah, the tattooist is an asshole, but more importantly, it shows what happens when you have a brain explosion and decide to let a person put a permanent marking on you moments after you have had an argument with said person. In my opinion, the victim deserves to be the recipient of a Darwin Award.  Does anyone know a way to expedite natural selection?

I was going to try to sneak a cheeky Dragon Ball reference into this post, but figured after such a long absence I should kick things off on a somewhat higher level of maturity.  Let’s face it: the quality of jokes and innuendo is going to hit rock bottom again before too long.

It’s good to be back.

Creationists get on the floor, everybody Walk the Dinosaur

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Another day, another attempt by Christians to push their ideologies on the general masses. Nothing new there, right? I’m surprised I’ve managed to make it almost a full week without vociferating about a religiously themed topic that’s pissed me off in the news. What makes the story different this time, however, is that Creationism is being taught in public schools, and students are being fed scientifically inaccurate, absurd explanations to justify the theory. Worse still, the information is being primarily provided to the students by volunteers with no formal teaching qualifications or experience – just an ingrained belief that Christianity has all the answers, even if the answers are about as credible as the existence of the Easter Bunny. Have you ever wondered why carbon dating puts dinosaurs on Earth so long before any form of humans? If you listen to Tim McKenzie, one of the Religious Instruction (RI) teachers interviewed for the story, it is because the great flood must have “skewed” the data. Are you fucking serious Tim?

PhD researcher Cathy Byrne found in a NSW-based survey that scripture teachers tended to discourage questioning, emphasised submission to authority and excluded different beliefs. She said 70 per cent of scripture teachers thought children should be taught the Bible as historical fact.

When looking from a scientific perspective, the Bible could hardly be classed as an historical text, given that it is open to incredible individual interpretation, and the validity of some of the information contained therein – such as the whole able-to-rise-from-the-dead concept – is somewhat dubious at best. But I will get to the feasibility of zombies shortly. A fact is something “that is known or proved to be true”, not something that is believed to be true by a specific group. That being the case, for these individuals to assert that the Bible provides historical fact and should be used in schools as an historical text is incredibly condescending and narrow-minded – is it the Christian way or the highway?

One of the facts apparently taught to the students was that Adam and Eve were not eaten by dinosaurs because they were under a protective spell, which seems about on par for Christians from a perspective of rationality, considering that their faith is based on the premise that Jesus rose from the dead after being crucified. One would have to suppose that if the concept of a zombie makes sense to these people, then the notion that dinosaurs could be held at bay by some sort of Hogwarts-type incantation seems perfectly reasonable. According to the The Courier-Mail article, when one Year 5 student was told that all humans had descended from Adam and Eve, she questioned how this was possible, given the scientific acceptance of DNA. The teacher – and yes, I have used substantial creative licence with that description – responded to this by stating that “DNA wasn’t invented then” and essentially dismissed what was a genuine, very valid question. This riposte affirms the position that if you question any aspect of a religion you are automatically labelled as trouble and a non-believer. That sort of approach isn’t that conducive to encouraging individual thought or tolerance, is it? Why the hell is it being allowed in our public schools?

Is it time to forego any form of religiously themed learning in our public schools, if for no other reason but then to ensure that the inquisitive, malleable minds of these children are filled with actual scientific fact, and not the unsubstantiated, nonsensical beliefs of self-appointed (and undoubtedly intransigent) instructors? If RI is to continue, how does one decide on what is taught? All religions have differences in their beliefs – be they small or immense – and the very unyielding nature of religion ensures that any faith that differs is seen as wrong. How is the point of difference to be worked around? Why not replace the RI with learning to encourage free thinking, as well as respect for other cultures and philosophies, and leave the pontifical teachings to the home of the individual parents and to their place of worship?

Why do I get the feeling that David Barker has had a stint as a purveyor of religious instruction at some stage?