The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Posts Tagged ‘prostitute

Black, white and the flashing red light‏

with 23 comments

When you’re a view stats junkie, all you focus on is your next hit. That feeling of euphoria that comes about by seeing someone comment on a post. That rush that can only be achieved by releasing site views and search terms into your bloodstream. For me, the quest for a fix involves pawing at my BlackBerry every eighteen seconds, day and night, yearning to see the flashing red light that indicates someone has liked, subscribed or felt compelled to comment. I know constantly looking for the light or feeling for the vibration (I do occasionally remember to put my phone on silent) isn’t healthy, but it’s what I do as a stats-addicted blogging strumpet.

Just to clarify, this is NOT the type of flashing red light I’m talking about. Source: stopthetraffik.wordpress.com

In this obsessive state, tunnel vision takes over; there is no middle ground: you are either black in your constant quest for hit after sweet electronic hit, or you are white: throwing your BlackBerry and laptop into the river before curling up fully clothed under a shower, attempting to go cold turkey from the compulsion to check your blog statistics every six minutes.

Irrespective of whether you are black or white, this battle against blogging makes you lose sight of things: time; ensuring that you have more than an orange and soy sauce in your fridge ; what point you were trying to make with the confusing colour metaphors; and, most importantly, the grey area.

The grey area is the demilitarized zone of opinions and personal beliefs. It’s a part that’s usually forgotten about when we judge, argue or write someone else’s opinion off as wrong. While it’s easy and self-serving – albeit incredibly naïve – to assert that our opinion or belief is the right one, it’s critical that we recognise there’s a lot we don’t know and can’t see from black or white. As we’ve discussed, coming from either corner tends to see us have blinkers fitted; this inadvertent narrowing of our perspective results in an inability to see more than about ten feet in front of our specifically colour-coded noses. Isn’t it about time that we accept that between the absolutes of right and wrong, there’s a lovely shade of grey? I hear they have wildflowers growing there. And pancakes.

While I’m adverse to making resolutions of any sort – especially on New Year’s Eve – I think we should all resolve to try and spend more time in the grey area from 2012 onwards, especially before judging others and condemning them for thinking black instead of white, or vice versa. Just remember: mixing black and white produces grey; therefore, the grey area is the location from which to listen, learn and debate. Colours don’t lie.

See, I told you there’s a grey area between black and white. Source: ianfitter.com

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Confessions of a view stats junkie: I am a tagging gigolo

with 16 comments

In the wake of Tinkerbelle being called a blogging streetwalker, and with WordPress subtlety suggesting that I may be a little loose with my use of tags, the truth abruptly slapped me in the face with a rotting fish. I am a tagging whore.

Every time I publish a piece, WordPress politely and discreetly tells me how many tags I’ve defiled it with, only to then – in what seems to be virtual mocking – inform me that 10 the optimal number in order for readers to find TDoT. You know what, WordPress? It’s my blog and I’ll tag if I want to.

Author’s note: in order to achieve full visual impact, you need to read this while imagining Lesley Gore singing and yours truly throwing a temper tantrum.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m also addicted to checking the view statistics for my blog. WordPress for BlackBerry has enabled this monkey on my back, allowing me to acquire a fix with childlike simplicity, regardless of where I am. I’ve found myself waking up in the middle of the night and reaching for my phone, all the while cognisant of the fact it’s three o’clock in the morning and that normal people are sleeping. Thank fuck for TDoT readers in different time zones.

I’m planning to ponder my addiction and whoring over the weekend. I’m going to ask myself the big questions. For now though, I need to track down a suitable pair of hooker boots, as well as locate a corner on which to stand and check how many people have viewed my blog while I’ve been posting this.

21 tags: sorry WordPress, but I’m a filthy, blogging strumpet.

“Does my bum look big in these boots?” Source: kaizan28.hubpages.com

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry on my BlackBerry Bold 9700