Posts Tagged ‘Magnificent Nose’
I’ve guest written a piece today for Magnificent Nose entitled ”Chivalry and the Shifting Goal Posts”. Funnily enough, it’s about chivalry, but it’s also got an angry woman on a bus and a sentence that concludes with “makeshift nappy for an infant with explosive diarrhoea.” How can you not be intrigued?
To tempt you with the toxic fruit of my mind, here’s a little glimpse behind the curtain:
No one wants to watch the early morning news story about an overnight murder and have to ask themselves, “Was that dismembered corpse floating in the river my date?” Gentlemen, nothing makes a more negative impression on your potential bed mate than her getting mugged while walking home alone, purely because you were too lazy to accompany her for the 600m journey back to her apartment. The only thing that will make this worse is if you refused to do so because the pub was still serving $5 pints, or because you wanted to see what happened in extra time. Should you do so, the only time you will ever see her again is if you catch her slashing your tyres or setting fire to your mailbox.
I know you want to keep reading this article, so click here to jump across to Magnificent Nose; if you don’t, they will beat me and I’ll cry like a 2-year-old girl. You really, really don’t want to see me crying and throwing a hissy fit.