The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Posts Tagged ‘#gangbang

I’m officially a Twit (or is that a Twat?): blogging from the BlackBerry

with 34 comments

It’s finally happened. After years of avoiding the seemingly inevitable and pretending that I’m better than everyone else, I’ve become everything I’ve frequently professed to despise: a Twitter user.

As I signed up, I kept reassuring myself that I was only doing so to aid my journalism studies: budding journalists can’t not have a Twitter account, can they? My plan was to follow journalists, interesting celebrities (sorry, Kim Kardashian, you didn’t make the cut) and news sources. I had the genuine intention of remaining dignified and professional, but that aim had gone to shit by my third tweet, when I may or may not have mentioned gang bangs.

Okay, I didn’t actually mention gang bangs, I just used a #gangbang hashtag in response to a tweet by Heather at The B(itch)Log. Does that make it her fault?

Regardless of who’s to blame (Heather), it got me thinking about other useful – and offensive – hashtags that we could incorporate into everyday use, if for no other reason than to antagonise individuals who piss us off.

#thatlightisturningred – This one would have been handy for the taxi driver who drove me to the airport. For some reason, he thought that texting was a much better option than watching the road. He seemed to get offended when I suggested that we pro rata his fare, based on how often he actually looked out of the windscreen.

#putaleashonthatkid – As I write this, a kid is bouncing all over the seats in the departure lounge, much to the amusement of its parents. There will shortly be a need to use a #3reasonswhyithrewalatteatyourmunchkin hashtag.

#youarefuckingwelcome – I could have used this about 6,824 times during my time at the airport. Seriously people, are manners that foreign a concept to you?

#iknowthatwasyou – To the guy who farted while in line for coffee, and then proceeded to look around in disgust: we all know who it was. You should also see a medical professional about that smell.

#dutyfreerulessuck – What do you mean I can’t get cheap vodka if I’m only flying domestically?

If you want to follow me on Twitter, try
clicking here to be taken to my profile. If that doesn’t work, caress your mouse button on the link below.

Do you have any angry hashtags you’d like to see used?

That's right, it's a #gangbang hashtag. My mother would be so proud.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry on my BlackBerry Bold 9700

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