The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Posts Tagged ‘comedy

Five things I’ve learnt about Twitter: Observations of a fully-functional Twit

with 7 comments

I’ll admit it. I’m addicted to Twitter.

Since begrudgingly signing up six months ago with the intention of only using it for intelligent, professional purposes, my tweets have descended into random thoughts and occasional nonsensical ramblings.  Damn it. I’ve become one of them.

At any rate, let me share with you five things I’ve learnt about the 140-character marvel of social networking.

Source: socialmediatoday.com

1. A hashtag can never be too long  

Let’s face it. Hashtags are cool. They are the 21st century equivalent of a one-liner and there’s no message or thought they can’t convey effectively. However, unlike the one-liner, which is renowned for being easy to comprehend, the hashtag has developed into a beast of unfathomable proportions. Apparently, it’s okay to use a 122-character hashtag that takes people 17 minutes to decipher.

Got a question about accommodation at a New York hotel? Use a #howmuchisyourdeluxesuitefortwonightsincludingbreakfast hashtag.

Planning a big night out and want your followers to know about it? Whip out #iamgoingtogethammeredtonightanditsgoingtobefreakinepic and set the tone for 13 hours of drunken tweeting from the depths of clubbing hell.

Would it be inappropriate to create a #fivethingsivelearntabouttwitterthatidliketosharewithyoutoday hashtag when I post the link to this article on Twitter?

2. Sometimes 140 characters just isn’t enough

Okay, I’m going to say this slowly. The whole purpose of Twitter is to send short, succinct messages no longer than 140 characters in length.

If you need to include any reference that your tweet is the first in a series that make up a full message you are doing it wrong.

140 characters maximum. Got it? Source: Twitter via @LyndonKeane.

3. Twitter can make you feel like one of the popular people 

One of the big attractions of Twitter is that you can follow celebrities, sporting stars and people a hell of a lot more interesting than you are.

Unfortunately, one of the downsides of Twitter is that you can follow celebrities, sporting stars and people a hell of a lot more interesting that you are, and users go nuts replying to these people in the hope that Johnny Depp will respond to their message or Lady Gaga will give them a retweet to her 25 million followers.

I know it happens because I’ve been guilty of doing it myself. Ricky Gervais didn’t retweet something I found witty and Seth MacFarlane broke my heart when he didn’t find my concept for a new animated series amusing.

I thought this was amusing. Seth MacFarlane didn’t. That bastard better not steal my idea. Source: Twitter via @LyndonKeane.

4. People will tweet about anything

People, Twitter isn’t Facebook. Tweets are meant to be – as far as I’m concerned, at least – informative or entertaining. Telling the social networking universe you are late for your bus or eating an apple is neither informative nor entertaining.

Contemplating unleashing a tweet about how blue the sky is today? Please cancel your Twitter account. Right now.

Not happy with your latte? Go and get another one instead of tweeting about it. Source: globalberdy.com

5. Inane sentences to no one in particular are the norm

Twitter had provided a virtual worldwide audience to users. Unfortunately, a disproportionate number of the aforementioned users have decided that means they can tweet boring, obvious sentences to no one in particular.

The referees don’t agree with you. Source: Twitter via @BuzzRothfield.

If these people’s 140-character revelations were amusing it would be a different story, but they aren’t. They’re dull and generic. Actually, they kind of make me wish I’d never started using Twitter in the first place.

To the person who tweeted Did you see that? #wow: Who the hell were to talking to and what was the Twitterverse meant to notice? If you were referring to your nonsensical tweet, I saw it. We all did and are now stupider because of it.

The odds of the person who this is directed at actually reading it are $1081. Source: Twitter via @bazarazzi.

Now that I’ve enlightened you about my Twitducation and bagged the hell out of Twitter, I’m going to whore myself out to the masses and suggest you all follow me at @LyndonKeane. If you prefer the Facebook touch, The Dissemination of Thought Facebook page can be found here.

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Espresso Etiquette 101: 6 Lessons in Coffee Shop Culture

with 46 comments

Cafes are not places to set up a quasi mission control, and the simple act of tipping shouldn’t remind anyone who observes it of a full-scale production of The Taming of the Shrew.

These are just two examples that stood out among a myriad of espresso etiquette breaches I’ve witnessed over the past twelve months, the most recent of which involved Mr Lesson 4 earlier this week.

As I pondered his seating sin and cappuccino contravention, it dawned on me that he wasn’t alone in his misgivings, so I decided it was an opportune time to offer a weekend refresher course, with the aim of bringing everyone up to speed on the do’s and don’ts of 21st century cafe culture.

Has everyone switched their mobile phone to silent? Do you all have a pen that works? Good, let’s commence the nonsensical crash course that is Espresso Etiquette 101.

We haven't even looked at the first lesson and already we have people throwing their coffee cups out of the cot. Source: mephc.com

Lesson 1: Know what you want before you are eyeballing the barista

Those big, colourful boards behind the counter that display the menu, cup sizes and prices aren’t there for decoration. There’s nothing more infuriating – in the coffee world, anyway – than standing behind someone who doesn’t have a clue what they want to order until they’re staring into the pained eyes of an exceedingly patient barista.

If you want a small flat white, lock it in as soon as you’re asked what you’d like. If you’re in the mood for a large caramel mocha, accept your caffeine-infused fate and tell the barista you want a large caramel mocha. If you intend to order a Venti triple-shot hazelnut soy latte with a dash of vanilla, slap yourself across the back of the head as you approach the cash register. Your bombastic stupidity has earned you a glass of water. Without ice.

While we’re on the subject of ordering, knowing how to pronounce what you wish to drink is important. Should you feel inclined to order a macchiato, please remember it’s not pronounced mar-chee-ate-o. If there were such a thing, it would be a Cheetos-esque snack, not a coffee.

Lesson 2: A single coffee does not entitle you to a full day of free Wi-Fi

These people know who they are. The individuals who purchase a solitary coffee in order to stake their claim at a table towards the rear of the cafe; out of sight – and mind – of the baristas, but not so far away as to give them a less-than-excellent signal from the complimentary Wi-Fi.

While Starbucks is the traditional haunt of this creature, extreme overpopulation and the resultant infighting has forced many to flee their franchised habitats and seek refuge in boutique coffee shops advertising free internet.

The coffee culture lesson to the free Wi-Fi whores is simple: A $5 chai latte does not afford you any sort of entitlement to sit there for six hours while the last two seasons of Breaking Bad, 134 songs and Green Lantern finish downloading.

Lesson 3: Tether your unruly children to the table

Our third lesson in espresso etiquette is predominantly for parents, but is applicable to anyone who deems taking unsettled children to a coffee shop a prudent decision.

Contrary to what the deluded voices in your head tell you, not everyone finds your munchkins adorable. They are even less endearing when running around my table screaming, as you look on and do nothing but point and pull those stupid “Aren’t they precious?” faces. As ridiculous as it may seem, I was hoping for a little bit of peace and quiet while I finished my latte.

If you can’t or won’t control your recalcitrant toddlers, please tether them to the leg of your table using twine that any of the staff will be more than happy to provide you with. If need be, utilise some form of baby muzzle*, because I can’t handle that high-pitched squealing any longer, and I really will feel bad if I’m forced to throw my half-chewed muffin at your firstborn.

* Author’s note: If such a device doesn’t already exist, I call dibs on the patent.

Lesson 4: One ass equals one seat

This maths lesson is one that, because of its simplicity, shouldn’t even have to be taught. If you find the subject matter boring, please direct your grievances towards the 20-something guy at the cafe, whose struggle with basic mathematics compelled me to run this refresher course.

One bum entitles you to one seat. Uno. Yi. Moja. If you are flying solo with your cappuccino, a single seat is all you get. Your laptop bag, backpack and filthy, stained sneakers don’t have an ass between them, so they sure as hell don’t need to be comfortable while you spend forty painful minutes wiping dried froth from the rim of your cup.

Lesson 5: Tipping does not involve Shakespearean theatrics

To Lady Macbeth at the front of the queue: To tip, or not to tip, that is obviously your question. There’s no need for histrionics or to wait for an audience to assemble; either do it or don’t do it, but if you opt for the latter, please exit stage right immediately.

I’ve never worked in hospitality, but friends who do tell me one of their biggest irks are pretentious gits who believe their twenty cent act of altruism makes them the espresso equivalent of Bill Gates.

Lesson 6: Lose the hardware

This is an important message to the guy who has set up base camp at the table in the corner. You aren’t an authorised Apple reseller. Everyone in the coffee shop is already aware they make a good product, so there’s no need to spread your iPhone, iPad and MacBook Air out across the table while attempting to synchronise them, all the while shuffling the hell out of your iPod. You don’t look trendy and sophisticated; if anything, you come across as bourgeois and incredibly susceptible to clever marketing. Yes, I noticed the Bluetooth earpiece; did you want me to call NASA and inform them you’re good to go with the shuttle launch?

Source: shupes.net

If you are guilty of any of the transgressions outlined above, I sincerely hope this crash course in espresso etiquette gives you cause to sit back and smell the coffee beans. It’s not too late to get help. If you know anyone who is an offender, please share this article with them. Friends don’t let friends mooch cafe Wi-Fi. Better yet, maybe you should just print out and laminate a few copies; that way, you can hand them out to random strangers you witness committing these espresso atrocities.

It’s crazy cookbook time, and I need your calamitous kitchen confessions

with 31 comments

I need help. Not the sort offered by a team of psychiatrists and medical professionals, but that which only you, my freakin’ awesome readers, can provide.

After the piece that shared my ridiculously disastrous cooking escapades was Freshly Pressed on 3 February, things went absolutely berserk. 7,331 people read it on the day. Hundreds commented, and the last time I checked, 706 bloggers had liked it. For some reason, people seem to love embarrassing tales of kitchen calamities, especially ones written by self-depreciating single guys.

Will people really buy a cookbook written by someone whose cookies turn out like this?

For those who haven’t read “5 things I’ve learnt about cooking: the calamitous kitchen confessions of a single guy”, this is what happened when I tried to flip the contents of a frying pan for the first time:

Damn you, Jamie Oliver. After observing everyone’s favourite naked chef continually flip the contents of his frying pan with a deft flick of the wrist (no, that’s not a euphemism), I eventually asked myself why I was the only sap left using spoons and spatulas. The concept of the flip didn’t seem that difficult, and with every celebrity cook and wannabe MasterChef contestant sending their stir-fries skyward in a graceful arc with apparent ease, I made the decision to come in from the culinary cold: I was my time to flip.

I chose to try it for the first time while sautéing mushrooms. I was focused. I was visualising it. I was trying to determine how I should celebrate what I assumed would be a successful attempt. Putting the wooden spoon to one side, I eyeballed the frying pan and quickly snapped it upwards in a forceful yet clinical motion.

I wish I could tell you that the mushrooms landed with a poetic elegance, but I can’t: there’s nothing poetic about a hail of hot butter and fungi raining down around you.

Look at him, the Converse-wearing smug bastard. Source: paradoxplace.com

At any rate, a lot of the comments people left suggested, among other things, that I should look at writing my own cookbook. I received dozens of emails, texts and phone calls supporting this suggestion, so I decided to seriously contemplate it over innumerable glasses of Scotch, a bottle of red wine and more than a few bags of Skittles Sours. My eventual decision? To attempt the impossible, and write a quasi cookbook that someone is prepared to publish. If people are prepared to pay good money to read about my kitchen debacles and take cooking advice from someone with the culinary ability of an oven mitt, who am I to stop them from wasting their hard-earned?

The book is going to be a compilation of kitchen stories and culinary lessons learned the hard way, but it will also include easy-to-follow recipes with idiot-proof instructions provided by yours truly. I’m writing it under the working title Stirring the Pot with TDoT, but the final name will be something much more eye-catching and scintillating. I hope.

No, I didn't make this, but I can provide step-by-step instructions on how to buy some just like it for yourself.

This is the point at which your help is required. While I have a multitude of personal tragic tales, I know there are countless other amusing kitchen stories out there, and I want to include as many as I can in the book. Any that appear that aren’t mine will be fully attributed to the kitchen failure considerate individual who shared it with me. While it’s only fair, I also believe it’s a fantastic opportunity to show the world that I’m not the only one burdened by culinary shame.

If you are happy to share your cooking disasters for inclusion in the book, send me an email with the following information:

  • What you were trying to do in the kitchen when your catastrophe occurred. What went wrong? What was the outcome? Did you walk away with both eyebrows and all of your digits, or did you end up with a painful memento of your culinary ineptitude?
  • How you’d like to be acknowledged in the book. I’m happy to use your real name, your blogging name or any other witty pseudonym you feel comfortable with. Except Snatch Baggins. I’ve already got dibs on that one, should I ever decide to change my name.
  • How many copies of the book you’d like if it gets published and sales tank, resulting in boxes and boxes of unsold copies lying around. I’m thinking that 38 is a reasonable minimum commitment.

How can you say no to this random guy? Source: speechadvice.com

So, there you have it. My shameless plea imploration invitation for you to share your calamitous kitchen stories for inclusion in my yet-to-be-named cookbook companion. Everyone has tales of kitchen woe, so ask your friends. Ask your family. Ask your parole officer.

A phone bill paid, an accolade and crazy searches folks have made

with 20 comments

I really need to pay more attention to my list of things to do. As I was paying my almost-overdue mobile phone bill this morning, I realised that I’d neglected to thank someone for throwing some blogging award affection my way.

Carrie from The Write Transition has nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award and, as with any accolade in the blogging world, there is a list of things I am obliged to do as a recipient. One of the duties is to expose 7 things about myself to those of you staring at your screens with drunken and sleep-deprived eyes. The other task is to bestow the Very Inspiring Blogger Award on 14 individuals of my choosing. Unfortunately, I’m going to fulfil neither responsibility. I’m going to mix it up and do my own thing.

Instead of giving you mundane facts about myself, I’ve decided to share 7 recent search terms that have guided disturbed perverts lost souls to The Dissemination of Thought.

how to sit beside someone you dislike

That’s easy. It’s called alcohol. In the unlikely event that a bottle of vodka doesn’t make the person to your right more bearable, I advocate flinging faeces at them. Childish and disgusting? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

thalia sextaped

Well, that would explain why my Muse was missing in action last year.

sex you’re doing it wrong

You are if you’ve numbed your hand before using lipstick and a Sharpie to make it look like that girl in your English Literature tutorial.

Remember: you can’t have sex while there’s no one else in the room.

This is definitely doing it wrong. Source: passthemike.tumblr.com

show me ur dick guys

Slow down, sailor. You’ll have to buy me a drink first. And promise not to laugh.

the gigolo – dumb as a bag of sex toys.

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that we have a man-whore hater in our midst.

I don't know, that bag looks pretty smart... Source: techdigest.tv

batman fucks wonder woman animation

Do you think Batman carries condoms on his utility belt?

Superman: "Sure, you were just helping him find his batarang." Source: All rights reserved by MargieC1022 via Flickr.

penis burn picture cam inside penis

I’d probably consult a urologist about that. Quickly. I know it will be expensive, but trying to shove a webcam up your urethra to save money won’t help.

As far as my Very Inspiring Blogger Award nominations go, I’ve got 3. Sure, I could list 14 like the rules dictate, but you and I both know you won’t click on all 14. That being the case, I’d rather just tell you about a few blogs that fly under the radar and genuinely deserve recognition.

unrelentingamee – Amee is passionate about writing. Good writing. We bounce a lot of ideas and random thoughts off each other, and she’s one of the very few people whose opinion I trust enough to let read my work before I publish it.

the4gottenman – This blogger’s work is insightful, honest and often incredibly introspective. Besides that, he’s been one of my closest friends for well over a decade, which is no mean feat: I’m a pain in the ass to tolerate.

50 Items or Less – I was actually introduced to this blog by Amee. The brainchild of Ian Little, it’s all about mini sagas: a story told in exactly 50 words. While I love the concept of “less can be more” and uncluttered writing, the 50 word aspect reminded me of my attempt to rewrite Green Eggs and Ham using just 50 unique words. Check out Ian’s personal blog here.

A random Grammy. Source: punchbowlblog.com

I’d like to sincerely thank Carrie for the award. If you haven’t already read her work on The Write Transition, click here right now to check it out.

If you want to keep up to date with all things The Dissemination of Thought, follow me on Twitter (@LyndonKeane) or like the Facebook page.

The quest for Pressed and ABCs with “B” for breasts

with 23 comments

I’ll admit it. Things got a little bit crazy. Things got forgotten/thrown in a giant pile of shit to do. As it turns out, one of my favourite bloggers was in the pile of stuff I had to do. Metaphorically speaking, of course, not literally.

Freshly Pressed: it's not just about garnishes.

Amidst the unadulterated bedlam that was being Freshly Pressed, Chrystalyn at The Future of Hope bestowed upon me the Awesome Blog Content Award, in recognition of, well, my awesomeness? My ability to stuff up an idiot-proof baking project? My sunny disposition and willingness to tolerate those stupider than I? Okay, it’s definitely not the last one: my threshold for dumbass is shoelace high. At any rate, because of the ludicrous number of comments, emails, texts and telephone calls that the pressing generated, I haven’t had any time to fulfil my duties as an ABC Award recipient.

Author’s note: in the above sentence, “I haven’t had any time” can be freely substituted with “I forgot”.

Basically, in order to ensure that I don’t come across as a complete asshole in accepting the award, I need to:

1. Thank the person that gave me the award, and then provide the very clichéd link to their blog.
2. Work my way through the alfalfabet alphabeet alphabet, choosing a word that starts with each letter to describe me. That’s right: Lyndon in 26 words. How scary is that?
3. Throw the blogging love around by nominating my own awardees.

Virtual flowers: the shittiest thank you gift ever. Source: flowersdepotonline.com

Chrystalyn is awesome and she knows it. I was going to give her a choice between flowers and chocolates to say thank you, but the latter mysteriously disappeared while I was writing this piece. On a totally unrelated note, Lindt Excellent 85% Cocoa chocolate is amazing. Where was I? Oh, yeah, Chrystalyn. As I publish this, The Future of Hope has 153 subscribers. I want that number to be at least 200 by the end of the weekend, because her writing is as funny as fuck. She’s incredibly creative, and has a cheeky, warped sense of humour. Check her work out for yourself, I guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.

Let’s look at the Lyndon alphabet of descriptive words.

Asshole or Arrogant (six of one, half a dozen of the other.)
Breasts*
Charming (when I want/need something.)
Dystopian
Eating (Chrystalyn’s chocolate.)
Freakish
Glockenspiel (I know it’s an instrument, but I’ve always thought the name sounded dirty and amusing, even as a 9-year-old.)
Habitual
Intense
Jocund
Kitsch
Lazy (because I couldn’t be bothered coming up with an awesome word beginning with “L”.)
Maniacal
Narcissistic
Observer
Patronising
Quesadilla (I love Mexican food.)
Resourceful
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (take that, Mary Poppins.)
Taunted
Ubiquitous
Vodka-fuelled
Whingy
Xanax (if you read this blog for long enough, you’re going to need it.)
Yawning (it’s almost 1:45am.)
Zestless

* Another author’s note: breasts needed to be included, because not only are they wonderful from a physiological perspective, they just make the world a better place in which to live.

Now, the blogs that I think deserve their very own ABC Awards:

Mid Life Ranting – His satirical approach is fantastic; he’s insightful and angry, and manages to incorporate intellectual rants into amusing pieces.

The Skinny Jeans and Starbucks Chronicles – I only discovered Karen’s blog a few days ago, but she’s a gifted writer who engages her audience with ease. This snippet is from her latest piece:

But long gone are those archaic days of 17 chicken and buffalo dowries and your mother-in-law picking out your wedding night trousseau. These days arranged marriages work differently. There’s Facebook stalking prior to the meet and city bylaws against hoarding chickens and buffaloes in your backyard. And if I thought I had very little true knowledge of arranged marriage in my parents’ generation, then I knew absolutely nothing about arranged marriages in this day and age.

Suburban Enlightenment – She blogs about asshats (I’m not going to try to explain this) and openly discusses her husband’s nuts with the blogging universe.

I Can’t High Five – Tennille describes herself as “…blunt, direct and bossy, with no tone, a lack of social prompts and an inability to high-five.” Further to all of these things, she’s also a writer whose work makes me laugh.

As well as thanking Chrystalyn again for the award, I wanted to express my sincere gratitude to all of you, the clowns who keep coming back for more and more of my confusing, narcissistic rants. Without you guys and girls, I’d just be talking to myself. And commenting on my own posts in the third person, all while subscribing to The Dissemination of Thought under a dodgy alias like Snatch Baggins.

Written by disseminatedthought

February 5, 2012 at 01:35

Gadget Wheels, dinos, mice and banana peels: my Top 4 cartoons of the 80s

with 22 comments

The children of today are screwed. I was writing another piece for today, but I realised it was shit and going nowhere at about the exact time I was hit by a wave of laziness; the notes I had scribbled were scrunched up and thrown across the room, and I plonked myself on the lounge, flicking casually through the channels with no destination in mind. Amidst the soap operas, news programs and advertisements, I came across a children’s cartoon. I have no idea what it was called, but it appeared to be a terrible amalgamation of poor animation, talking dogs and painfully cheerful theme music. Was this really the best we could come up with in the 21st century to entertain kiddies? What the hell happened to the awesome cartoons of the 80s and early 90s?

Feeling lazy and overcome with nostalgia, and with Heather’s article on The B(itch)Log earlier this week still fresh in my mind, I decided to take a stand against the fucked up children’s entertainment of 2012. How am I going to do it? Easy. I’m going to regress twenty or so years and reintroduce the world to my four favourite cartoons of the 80s. Given that I’ve got intellectual maturity of a 9-year-old, it’s not going to be that difficult.

Bananaman

Eric Wimp was just a normal boy who lived at 29 Acacia Road until he indulged in the tropical delight, at which stage he transformed into a nutritious vigilante, intent on keeping the world safe from the evil schemes of corny supervillans. With an outfit that would make Batman reassess what it meant to wear a cowl, Bananaman got around by flying, albeit with a technique reminiscent of a swimming stroke. When the Australian Banana Growers’ Council was working on its marketing strategy, it should have looked no further than the quiet British schoolboy: he’s the poster child for potassium.

Bruce Wayne, eat your heart out. Source: gotgames.com.au

His greatest achievement? Wearing banana skins as boots and never slipping on them.

This is a banana man, not THE Bananaman. Source: aj-smith.com.au

Danger Mouse

Eye patches: not just for pirates. Source: dogatemywookie.co.uk

The British know comedy, and in the 80s, they were all over cartoons like a fat kid on a cheesecake. Aided by his nerdy hamster offsider Penfold, Danger Mouse was the James Bond of the rodent world, complete with flying car and an eye patch. How could you not love a Mickey Mouse 007 wannabe whose arch-nemesis was an obese toad with emphysema called Baron Silas Greenback?

Ever tried to picture Ernst Stavro Blofeld as a cartoon? Source: vimeo.com

The biggest question to come out of the series pertained to the preferred garb of the furry secret agent: did Danger Mouse wear pants?

Dino-Riders

Dinosaurs. Lasers. Aliens riding said dinosaurs. This concludes the lesson on why Dino-Riders was such an awesome cartoon. Hell, it was that amazing, it made kids want to learn about palaeontology; there was a time circa 1990 that I could spell the names of most dinosaurs, including Ankylosaurus, Diplodocus and Quetzalcoatlus.

Prehistoric creatures with firepower: the 80s had it all. Source: terriblehands.com

Inspector Gadget

 

Calling this detective bumbling is like calling Kim Jong-il misunderstood. As dumb as he was, you have to respect a guy with rocket-powered roller skates and rotor blades built into his hat.

Inspector Gadget was the pioneer of the cyborg anti-discrimination movement, and taught us to love our fellow man, regardless of whether they were black, white or had telescopic extremities.

Being dumb doesn't matter when you have gadgets. Source: mindgutterblog.com

Important safety tip: do not go out wearing a trench coat and ask women if they’d like to see your Gadget Periscope.

Go-Go Gadget Nostalgia!

Damn. If I could go back to 1989 knowing what I know now, my goal of world domination would be a lot easier to achieve. And I’d be able to appoint Bananaman as the Vice President of Kick-Ass Superhero Costumes. And ride an angry Pachycephalosaurus*, adorned with armour and lasers, instead of catching the bus.

* Author’s note: best dinosaur name of all time.

10 facts, some fun and a Tommy gun

with 12 comments

Nataly at Snippets and Glimpses has nominated The Dissemination of Thought for the Kreativ Blogger Award, which means that another poor soul has succumbed to my apparent charm and frequently imbecilic, incoherent rantings. Thank you Nataly, we will get you the help that you need to get through this difficult time.

The first condition of accepting the award is that I promulgate 10 things that no one knows about me. Given that my life is a pretty open – albeit coffee-stained, dog-eared – book, I’m doubtful that there are ten unique, unknown facts about yours truly. At any rate, let’s try these on for size:

1. I’m the eldest of 3 boys. I know, my poor mother. Funnily enough, being the eldest doesn’t automatically predicate that you are the most responsible.
2. I once tore a new DVD player to pieces because it stopped working with a disc I wanted still inside. I bet the stupid $30 DVD player didn’t see that coming.

I really, really wanted that disc back.

3. The Dissemination of Thought will be getting its own domain name in 2012.
4. I’ve never touched a cigarette, but I have been known to indulge with the occasional Cuban cigar.
5. Unlike my mother, I firmly believe that ice cream and beer constitute a nutritious meal.
6. I would have enjoyed growing up during the 20s and 30s. Had this been possible, I assume that my chosen career path would have included a fedora, bootlegging and a Tommy gun.
7. My wallet currently contains $16.20 and a $5 casino chip.
8. I dislike magpies with a passion. I wouldn’t say that I’m fearful of them, but I will go well out of my normal way during breeding season to avoid the black and white kamikaze fuckers.
9. I loathe poor spelling and grammar; the way Kreativ is spelt in this award shits me to tears.
10. I just spilt strawberry flavoured milk on my desk. Son of a bitch.

Part two/2/II/dos of acceptance process involves nominating 6 blogs that I believe are deserving of the Kreativ Blogger Award. Following suit on my recommendations when I received the Versatile Blogger Award and 7 x 7 Link Award, I’m not going to give you a run down on the blogs; I follow them and always find the pieces posted amusing, so I’m anticipating that you will, too.

1. Mid Life Ranting
2. spectaculardisaster
3. What Party?
4. Girl on the Contrary
5. Liquorstore Bear
6. thehoneyhouse

A big thank you once again to Nataly at Snippets and Glimpses for the nomination. If you haven’t discovered her blog already, click here and the magic of technology will transport you there. It’s like having your own TARDIS, but not quite as cool.

Source: thestylehouse.ca

Written by disseminatedthought

January 5, 2012 at 11:02