The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Posts Tagged ‘award

Apologies, excuses and the verbal finger

with 8 comments

It’s funny how a seemingly innocuous action – or in some cases, actions – can compel one to do something they hadn’t planned on doing.

For me, the aforementioned actions were those of the rude, irritating woman who tried to cut in front of about seven people at the supermarket this afternoon.

I hadn’t planned on writing anything on my day off, but the behaviour of the woman – let’s call her the Bitch with the Handbasket – made me question at what stage people stopped apologising altogether.

When did ludicrous excuses replace sincere apologies as a response to fucking up?

I watched the Bitch with the Handbasket creep into my peripheral vision while I was waiting to be served in the express lane. I saw her eyeball the queue and stood stunned as she nonchalantly pushed in front of me and acted as though she’d been there the entire time.

After subtlety suggesting to her that she needed to move to the back of the line, I couldn’t believe her retort: “Huh? Oh, I didn’t see you there. Is there a line?”

What the hell? What part of my handbasket-carrying, six-foot-five frame didn’t you see? Did you fail to notice the half a dozen shoppers behind me who are now scowling at you?

As I asked myself what her problem was, it dawned on me that her excuses and ignorance were representative of the attitudes of many: we’ve become a society that accepts reasons why in lieu of apologies.

People seem to have forgotten how to apologise. In the rare instances where an apology is offered, it’s seldom genuine. Somehow, offering a feeble, disingenuous explanation has been deemed socially acceptable.

It’s got to stop.

In addition to the Bitch with the Handbasket, I’ve recently witnessed first-hand another example of society’s proclivity to throw out a thinly-veiled vindication instead of an apology.

Without going into specifics, the players in question were out of line and exercised poor judgement. Whether or not a private apology has been offered to the women involved is a matter for them. All I can comment on intelligently is that publicly, the only responses from the individuals at the centre of the allegations have been excuses. Lots of excuses. A few of them have even suggested that it’s me who needs to apologise for writing the story.

How hard is it to admit that you have erred?

I’ll admit it when I screw up. When I do make a mistake, it’s usually a big one. Like when I referred to the wrong team as last season’s premiers in a recent grand final preview. Oops. I could have made excuses, but what would have been the point? I made a mistake; it was as simple as that. The newspaper ran a correction and the earth continued to turn on its axis.

An excuse is not an apology. An apology conveys regret, remorse or sorrow, while an excuse tends to indicate the person blabbering it isn’t genuinely contrite. To me, an excuse is the verbal equivalent of giving someone the finger after you’ve wronged them.

If you’ve done something you regret, show some intestinal fortitude and admit you were wrong. If you aren’t remorseful for your actions you shouldn’t feel compelled to apologise, but please don’t offer up some idiotic excuse for doing whatever it was that you did. The best excuse in the world will never trump a simple, sincere acknowledgement that you screwed up.

Source: wba.theoffside.com

I’m not going to apologise for this post because even though you’re sorry for reading it, I don’t regret writing it. As for excuses, where would you like me to start?

————————————————–

If you spend way too much time supporting Mark Zuckerberg’s lifestyle, check out and like The Dissemination of Thought Facebook page.

In other relevant blogging news, I’ve entered The Dissemination of Thought in the Best Australian Blogs 2012 Competition which is run by Sydney Writers’ Centre.

I will provide more information about the competition over the next few days, but voting for the People’s Choice Award opens this Friday at 5:00pm. If you like this blog as much as I think hope pray you do, please visit the competition website and cast a vote for The Dissemination of Thought.

If you’re a Twit, you can track the progress of the Best Australian Blogs 2012 Competition by searching with the #bestblogs2012 hashtag, or you can follow Sydney Writers’ Centre (@SydneyWriters) for updates.  To follow yours truly on Twitter, click the button below.

A phone bill paid, an accolade and crazy searches folks have made

with 20 comments

I really need to pay more attention to my list of things to do. As I was paying my almost-overdue mobile phone bill this morning, I realised that I’d neglected to thank someone for throwing some blogging award affection my way.

Carrie from The Write Transition has nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award and, as with any accolade in the blogging world, there is a list of things I am obliged to do as a recipient. One of the duties is to expose 7 things about myself to those of you staring at your screens with drunken and sleep-deprived eyes. The other task is to bestow the Very Inspiring Blogger Award on 14 individuals of my choosing. Unfortunately, I’m going to fulfil neither responsibility. I’m going to mix it up and do my own thing.

Instead of giving you mundane facts about myself, I’ve decided to share 7 recent search terms that have guided disturbed perverts lost souls to The Dissemination of Thought.

how to sit beside someone you dislike

That’s easy. It’s called alcohol. In the unlikely event that a bottle of vodka doesn’t make the person to your right more bearable, I advocate flinging faeces at them. Childish and disgusting? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

thalia sextaped

Well, that would explain why my Muse was missing in action last year.

sex you’re doing it wrong

You are if you’ve numbed your hand before using lipstick and a Sharpie to make it look like that girl in your English Literature tutorial.

Remember: you can’t have sex while there’s no one else in the room.

This is definitely doing it wrong. Source: passthemike.tumblr.com

show me ur dick guys

Slow down, sailor. You’ll have to buy me a drink first. And promise not to laugh.

the gigolo – dumb as a bag of sex toys.

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that we have a man-whore hater in our midst.

I don't know, that bag looks pretty smart... Source: techdigest.tv

batman fucks wonder woman animation

Do you think Batman carries condoms on his utility belt?

Superman: "Sure, you were just helping him find his batarang." Source: All rights reserved by MargieC1022 via Flickr.

penis burn picture cam inside penis

I’d probably consult a urologist about that. Quickly. I know it will be expensive, but trying to shove a webcam up your urethra to save money won’t help.

As far as my Very Inspiring Blogger Award nominations go, I’ve got 3. Sure, I could list 14 like the rules dictate, but you and I both know you won’t click on all 14. That being the case, I’d rather just tell you about a few blogs that fly under the radar and genuinely deserve recognition.

unrelentingamee – Amee is passionate about writing. Good writing. We bounce a lot of ideas and random thoughts off each other, and she’s one of the very few people whose opinion I trust enough to let read my work before I publish it.

the4gottenman – This blogger’s work is insightful, honest and often incredibly introspective. Besides that, he’s been one of my closest friends for well over a decade, which is no mean feat: I’m a pain in the ass to tolerate.

50 Items or Less – I was actually introduced to this blog by Amee. The brainchild of Ian Little, it’s all about mini sagas: a story told in exactly 50 words. While I love the concept of “less can be more” and uncluttered writing, the 50 word aspect reminded me of my attempt to rewrite Green Eggs and Ham using just 50 unique words. Check out Ian’s personal blog here.

A random Grammy. Source: punchbowlblog.com

I’d like to sincerely thank Carrie for the award. If you haven’t already read her work on The Write Transition, click here right now to check it out.

If you want to keep up to date with all things The Dissemination of Thought, follow me on Twitter (@LyndonKeane) or like the Facebook page.

The quest for Pressed and ABCs with “B” for breasts

with 23 comments

I’ll admit it. Things got a little bit crazy. Things got forgotten/thrown in a giant pile of shit to do. As it turns out, one of my favourite bloggers was in the pile of stuff I had to do. Metaphorically speaking, of course, not literally.

Freshly Pressed: it's not just about garnishes.

Amidst the unadulterated bedlam that was being Freshly Pressed, Chrystalyn at The Future of Hope bestowed upon me the Awesome Blog Content Award, in recognition of, well, my awesomeness? My ability to stuff up an idiot-proof baking project? My sunny disposition and willingness to tolerate those stupider than I? Okay, it’s definitely not the last one: my threshold for dumbass is shoelace high. At any rate, because of the ludicrous number of comments, emails, texts and telephone calls that the pressing generated, I haven’t had any time to fulfil my duties as an ABC Award recipient.

Author’s note: in the above sentence, “I haven’t had any time” can be freely substituted with “I forgot”.

Basically, in order to ensure that I don’t come across as a complete asshole in accepting the award, I need to:

1. Thank the person that gave me the award, and then provide the very clichéd link to their blog.
2. Work my way through the alfalfabet alphabeet alphabet, choosing a word that starts with each letter to describe me. That’s right: Lyndon in 26 words. How scary is that?
3. Throw the blogging love around by nominating my own awardees.

Virtual flowers: the shittiest thank you gift ever. Source: flowersdepotonline.com

Chrystalyn is awesome and she knows it. I was going to give her a choice between flowers and chocolates to say thank you, but the latter mysteriously disappeared while I was writing this piece. On a totally unrelated note, Lindt Excellent 85% Cocoa chocolate is amazing. Where was I? Oh, yeah, Chrystalyn. As I publish this, The Future of Hope has 153 subscribers. I want that number to be at least 200 by the end of the weekend, because her writing is as funny as fuck. She’s incredibly creative, and has a cheeky, warped sense of humour. Check her work out for yourself, I guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.

Let’s look at the Lyndon alphabet of descriptive words.

Asshole or Arrogant (six of one, half a dozen of the other.)
Breasts*
Charming (when I want/need something.)
Dystopian
Eating (Chrystalyn’s chocolate.)
Freakish
Glockenspiel (I know it’s an instrument, but I’ve always thought the name sounded dirty and amusing, even as a 9-year-old.)
Habitual
Intense
Jocund
Kitsch
Lazy (because I couldn’t be bothered coming up with an awesome word beginning with “L”.)
Maniacal
Narcissistic
Observer
Patronising
Quesadilla (I love Mexican food.)
Resourceful
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (take that, Mary Poppins.)
Taunted
Ubiquitous
Vodka-fuelled
Whingy
Xanax (if you read this blog for long enough, you’re going to need it.)
Yawning (it’s almost 1:45am.)
Zestless

* Another author’s note: breasts needed to be included, because not only are they wonderful from a physiological perspective, they just make the world a better place in which to live.

Now, the blogs that I think deserve their very own ABC Awards:

Mid Life Ranting – His satirical approach is fantastic; he’s insightful and angry, and manages to incorporate intellectual rants into amusing pieces.

The Skinny Jeans and Starbucks Chronicles – I only discovered Karen’s blog a few days ago, but she’s a gifted writer who engages her audience with ease. This snippet is from her latest piece:

But long gone are those archaic days of 17 chicken and buffalo dowries and your mother-in-law picking out your wedding night trousseau. These days arranged marriages work differently. There’s Facebook stalking prior to the meet and city bylaws against hoarding chickens and buffaloes in your backyard. And if I thought I had very little true knowledge of arranged marriage in my parents’ generation, then I knew absolutely nothing about arranged marriages in this day and age.

Suburban Enlightenment – She blogs about asshats (I’m not going to try to explain this) and openly discusses her husband’s nuts with the blogging universe.

I Can’t High Five – Tennille describes herself as “…blunt, direct and bossy, with no tone, a lack of social prompts and an inability to high-five.” Further to all of these things, she’s also a writer whose work makes me laugh.

As well as thanking Chrystalyn again for the award, I wanted to express my sincere gratitude to all of you, the clowns who keep coming back for more and more of my confusing, narcissistic rants. Without you guys and girls, I’d just be talking to myself. And commenting on my own posts in the third person, all while subscribing to The Dissemination of Thought under a dodgy alias like Snatch Baggins.

Written by disseminatedthought

February 5, 2012 at 01:35

10 facts, some fun and a Tommy gun

with 12 comments

Nataly at Snippets and Glimpses has nominated The Dissemination of Thought for the Kreativ Blogger Award, which means that another poor soul has succumbed to my apparent charm and frequently imbecilic, incoherent rantings. Thank you Nataly, we will get you the help that you need to get through this difficult time.

The first condition of accepting the award is that I promulgate 10 things that no one knows about me. Given that my life is a pretty open – albeit coffee-stained, dog-eared – book, I’m doubtful that there are ten unique, unknown facts about yours truly. At any rate, let’s try these on for size:

1. I’m the eldest of 3 boys. I know, my poor mother. Funnily enough, being the eldest doesn’t automatically predicate that you are the most responsible.
2. I once tore a new DVD player to pieces because it stopped working with a disc I wanted still inside. I bet the stupid $30 DVD player didn’t see that coming.

I really, really wanted that disc back.

3. The Dissemination of Thought will be getting its own domain name in 2012.
4. I’ve never touched a cigarette, but I have been known to indulge with the occasional Cuban cigar.
5. Unlike my mother, I firmly believe that ice cream and beer constitute a nutritious meal.
6. I would have enjoyed growing up during the 20s and 30s. Had this been possible, I assume that my chosen career path would have included a fedora, bootlegging and a Tommy gun.
7. My wallet currently contains $16.20 and a $5 casino chip.
8. I dislike magpies with a passion. I wouldn’t say that I’m fearful of them, but I will go well out of my normal way during breeding season to avoid the black and white kamikaze fuckers.
9. I loathe poor spelling and grammar; the way Kreativ is spelt in this award shits me to tears.
10. I just spilt strawberry flavoured milk on my desk. Son of a bitch.

Part two/2/II/dos of acceptance process involves nominating 6 blogs that I believe are deserving of the Kreativ Blogger Award. Following suit on my recommendations when I received the Versatile Blogger Award and 7 x 7 Link Award, I’m not going to give you a run down on the blogs; I follow them and always find the pieces posted amusing, so I’m anticipating that you will, too.

1. Mid Life Ranting
2. spectaculardisaster
3. What Party?
4. Girl on the Contrary
5. Liquorstore Bear
6. thehoneyhouse

A big thank you once again to Nataly at Snippets and Glimpses for the nomination. If you haven’t discovered her blog already, click here and the magic of technology will transport you there. It’s like having your own TARDIS, but not quite as cool.

Source: thestylehouse.ca

Written by disseminatedthought

January 5, 2012 at 11:02

The Link and my discreetly placed ink

with 10 comments

The Dissemination of Thought has won a Grammy! Well, not quite. But considering my total lack of musical ability, this fabrication is probably as close as I’ll ever come to acquiring a little gilded gramophone. Unless I steal one from Eminem.

Heather from HeatherChristenaSchmidt.com has bestowed upon me the 7 x 7 Link Award, which means that in addition to thanking her profusely for referring people to my blog, I need to revisit 7 TDoT posts and offer them for critiquing by other readers; also, I’m meant to divulge a fact about myself that isn’t common knowledge. While I self-flagellate and determine which of my previous posts I want you to read, I suggest you go and check out Heather’s blog. It’s called The B(itch)Log. Clever, isn’t it? Go on, I’ll wait here for you.

A purposeless fact about me that readers of The Dissemination of Thought may not know:

I have a tattoo. I came up with the concept myself, and the artist made the necessary changes to make it work in the transition from paper to pale skin. It took four hours from start to finish, which is a painfully long time to sit in one place, especially when your attention span is as short as mine.

If you’re in Brisbane and looking to have work done, I suggest you give Bernie at Wild at Heart Tattoo a call.

Most Beautiful

I don’t really do beautiful per se, but I wrote this piece as a tribute to my grandmother, following her passing in November.

Most Helpful

”Petworking: a paw-ly written piece about why felines don’t need Facebook…” helped people understand the pet owners who think that every feline should have a Facebook profile. And play FarmVille.

Most Popular

Based on the number of comments, ”Diamond Rings and perplexing things” gets this gong. Who would have thought that a five minute bus ride would generate so much interest?

Most Controversial

It was one of my earliest posts, but in ”Creationists get on the floor, everybody Walk the Dinosaur”, I questioned why school children were being taught that Adam and Eve weren’t eaten by dinosaurs because they were under a protective spell. I shit you not.

Most Surprisingly Successful

This one goes to “Why I wanted to throw an Oompa-Loompa off a moving ferry: blogging from the BlackBerry”. It would appear that I’m not the only one who finds screaming munchkins and poor parenting irritating.

Most Underrated

I’ve given this one to ”Strippers, beer and Germaine Greer: why the sex industry gets a bad wrap”, which looks at the narrow-minded personal views that people form about strippers and others sex industry workers. I thought it would be more popular than it was, but maybe it just proves that no one ever types “Germaine Greer” and “sex” in the same Google search.

Most Pride-Worthy

I can sum up ”They say any sex is good sex, so why doesn’t it apply to marriage?” in one word: equality.

I could give you my abridged thoughts on the 7 blogs that I’m nominating for the 7 x 7 Link Award, but checking them out on your own will be more fun. And involve less work for me. What’s the risk? I personally think these blogs are awesome. So should you.

Author’s note: I can’t be responsible if you don’t find things awesome. Blame your parents. Or that gap on the shelf where your sense of humour should be.

That’s Just Ridiculous
Impassioned Rantings of an Unbalanced Mind
healthytakeover
The Sonia Show
Pasta for One
frugalistablog
Solomonian

For those readers who haven’t yet done so, please follow me at The Dissemination of Thought Facebook page. It’s ridiculously easy to do. Just click this link. Then click on the Like button. It’s as simple as boiling an egg, without the scalding. And the egg.

“I’d like to thank the Academy…”

with 19 comments

As I was putting the finishing touches to today’s TDoT post about lycra and lattes, I got a message notifying me that I’d received a Versatile Blogger Award.

As with everything in life, the Versatile Blogger Award comes with some rules. Responsibilities, if you will. As a recipient, I need to:

  • Thank the person who gave me the award, and link this “acceptance speech” back to their blog.
  • Tell TDoT readers 7 things about myself.
  • Nominate 15 blogs that I enjoy for their own Versatile Blogger Award, and then include the appropriate links to their sites.
  • Contact the aforementioned nominees to advise them of the good news.

The first step is easy. I’d sincerely like to thank B.B.Darlington for bestowing the nomination upon me. It’s a great feeling to know that people other than yours truly like this blog. Is it too early for paid The Dissemination of Thought subscriptions?

Now, for 7 things about me.

1. I’m somewhat addicted to orange Tic Tacs.
2. I can cook, but I rarely do. I live in the middle of the city and have a diverse assortment of menus on my desk – why would I bother firing up the oven?
3. My freezer currently contains ice cubes, half a loaf of bread, vanilla ice cream and a bottle of vodka. The vodka won’t be in there for much longer.
4. I want to learn to play the guitar. I love music, but have no musical ability as far as I’m aware.
5. My favourite book of all time is Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell.
6. I love Converse sneakers. I have far too many pairs as it is, but I can’t stop buying them. I have a problem.
7. I loathe reality television.

The 15 blogs that I want you guys to find out about – if you haven’t already done so – are:

1. broadsofthebeltway
2. healthytakeover
3. Impassioned Rantings of an Unbalanced Mind
4. Miss Demure Restraint  Author’s note: she’s already got one of these awards, but deserves another.
5. missmaribelmaeve
6. PCC Advantage
7. Riding in Cars with Goats and Other Stories
8. Solomonian
9. Fiercly Yours
10. the daily dilemma
11. Virgin Vagina’s
12. Mud Junkie
13. One Bedroom Wonders
14. RentAMomma
15. Facehookin’

Now I could give you a synopsis about each site, or you could click on the links above and check them out for yourself. Stop being so fucking lazy.

Thank you once again to B.B.Darlington, as well as the rest of you who inflate my ego by reading The Dissemination of Thought.

Written by disseminatedthought

December 13, 2011 at 17:50