The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

To be, or NKOTB

with 24 comments

Welcome to the third week of The Dissemination (of Thought) Files. In this week’s instalment, we probe – in a journalistic, non-alien and lubricant way – OzSpinCycle*, the apparently lopsidedly-minded author of Impassioned Rantings of an Unbalanced Mind.

* Author’s note: this probably isn’t his real name.

Admit it.  You’re asking yourself why the blog’s called what it is.  As OzSpinCycle puts it:

The name of the blog comes from the fact that from time to time it feels like my head becomes a little unbalanced.  Not the go out and set fire to a small fury animal type of unbalanced but more the all the clothes have moved to one side of the washing machine causing it to stop during the spin cycle kind of unbalance.  I see the blog as a way to rebalance things by shuffling the clothes around, removing those extra couple of pairs of jeans you thought you try and fit in…

During the interview, we toss around a few account and lawyer jokes, discuss time travel, and try to understand his wife’s disturbing fascination obsession with New Kids on the Block.

My in-depth research leads me to believe today's interviewee may look something like one of these. Source: raisingbipolar.com

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Lyndon Keane (TDoT): Do you mind if I tape this interview? I’m drunk and reasonably confident that I won’t pay much attention, so if I don’t record it, I’ll have to make your answers up.

This is what it normally takes to get through a The Dissemination (of Thought) Files interview. Source: upgradetravelbetter.com

OzSpinCycle (OSC): Go ahead.  I’m not sure that I know how to have a conversation with you sober anyway. Somehow, there always seems to be some form of alcoholic beverage involved when we’re chatting.  Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

TDoT: In describing yourself as “quick-witted” in ”Alpha Bravo Charlie”, you make reference to your propensity for “short, stupid jokes”. What’s the most pitifully amusing one in your repertoire? Has anyone ever regaled you with a particularly clever accountant joke?

OSC: I really have a penchant for multipart, short stupid jokes, which is probably even worse.  I think my favourite is this:

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

A: He was hit by a refrigerator.

Q: Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? 

A: He was hit by the first koala.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? 

A: Two koalas and a refrigerator fell on him.

Q: What is the moral of this story?

A: Kangaroos shouldn’t throw refrigerators at koalas.

TDoT: So, are you saying male koalas can’t dodge airborne refrigerators?  Are whitegood-tossing marsupials common in the bush?

OSC: I haven’t heard many accountant jokes.  There’s always the reliable “What did the constipated accountant do?  Worked it out with a pencil.”

Lawyer jokes – the other half of my degree – were always better.  My favourite is “Why did the scientist start using lawyers instead of lab rats?  No one cares about lawyers.  There are plenty of lawyers, and there are some things even a lab rat won’t do.

TDoT: Your wife’s a New Kids on the Block fan? Are you sure she didn’t just mean she was fond of the new munchkins living down the street? Is there a chance she was living in the garden shed for the two weeks she was purportedly stalking them around the USA?

You wish you had that bandanna. Source: ticketroyale.blogspot.com.au

OSC: Not unless she fiendishly gave her credit card to someone else and told them to go nuts in the USA.  If I find out someone other than her was spending that money, there’s going to be trouble.

TDoT: New Kids on the Block? Really? You do realise they’re touring Australia this year, don’t you? What are the odds of us seeing an Impassioned Rantings of an Unbalanced Mind remix of “Hangin’ Tough” on YouTube?

OSC: Yes, really!  I don’t understand the fascination either, but as I understand it, that is primarily because I am male and straight.  I think the odds of us both appearing together completely sober for more than five minutes are better than the odds of me belting out “Hangin’ Tough”.  Although at 2:00am, with a skinful of alcohol and pancakes, many things seem like a better idea than they actually are.

TDoT: In your most recent piece, you walked us through the first ten songs that played when you shuffled the music on your iPod. What do you think of the music industry in 2012?

OSC: I think some good music gets made, but there is a lot of shit as well.  I have resigned myself to the fact that I am no longer part of the biggest music buying demographic.  Therefore, most of the stuff released is not targeted at me.  Fortunately, there are still enough quality artists sneaking through to keep me going.

TDoT: I’m going to put you on the spot. If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

OSC: Tough question.  I really do have a hard time with this sort of thing, because I always forget so many albums, movies and the like, and then think later “Shit, that’s right, I really like XYZ.”  Out of the albums I have on my iPod, I would have to go with either Missy Higgins’ On a Clear Night or Something to Be from Rob Thomas.  I’d probably flip a coin between the two.  My reasoning is that both albums have a good mix of song types, and that would help keep it interesting.

TDoT: What’s the most ridiculous thing you have ever seen someone do on a dare or under the deviously guiding hand of sweet alcohol?

OSC: We were always pretty boring on that front.  I’ve seen a nudie run and people drink some awful looking mixes of drinks.  Did you know that Baileys, Scotch and Coke curdles?

Alcohol-fuelled nudie runs: always a good idea until your ass is showing. Source: spiegel.de

TDoT: Your post ”The Darkness Within” has you pondering some pretty obscure subject matter. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to walk around with a rusty chainsaw à la Leatherface? Sans hillbilly-esque inbreeding, of course. Is it possible Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers were simply misunderstood?

OSC: Well, I did grow up in the Australian equivalent of hillbilly country.  As I said in the post, it has always just been curiosity that never extended to any thought of actual harm.  So, no, that sort of thought has never really crossed my mind.  The thought of doing harm to others directly or, more likely, indirectly – like stepping in front of a bus they drive – is a huge reason why I would never actually do any of those things.  Plus, that shit will kill you.

TDoT: While we’re hypothesising and getting all deep and philosophical, exactly how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

OSC: A woodchuck would chuck how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, if only he could be fucked chucking wood.

TDoT: Your love of all things scientific and “geeky” is blatantly obvious. Is it just me, or is a DeLorean a poor vehicular choice for a time machine? If you could have ridden shotgun with Doc Brown to one place in either the future or past, where would it be? And no, you can’t choose the moment before you agreed to do this interview.

"Are you telling me that this sucker is nuclear?" Source: tgdaily.com

OSC: Yes, the DeLorean is probably a poor choice; it draws a bit too much attention to itself.  Perhaps Doc Brown picked it for its fibreglass and stainless steel construction.  Perhaps he just liked the gullwing doors.  Interesting legal fact: John DeLorean was arrested on drug trafficking charges, allegedly trying to make money to keep his motor company afloat, but was acquitted due to it being a case of entrapment.

TDoT: Maybe he couldn’t get to eighty-eight miles per hour during his getaway.

OSC: As for a moment in time, it would have to be the past, because according to relativity, it isn’t possible to travel forward in time.  That said, by the time we’ve worked out how to travel in time, we will have probably found a way to tell relativity to bugger off and mind its own business.

I think the geek in me would love to head back to the late fifties so I could be part of the space race that led up to man walking on the moon in 1969.  For someone with a love of all things space, this would be a dream come true.  Either that, or jumping forward to be part of the team that puts the first people on a planet other than Earth.

"Yes, your hotel room has a lovely view of the Earth." Source: geography4kids.com

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Next week, The Dissemination (of Thought) Files will undoubtedly ask someone some questions about something. Yes, I’m really that disorganised, I have no idea who I’ll be interrogating 7 days from now.  As always, if you want to subject yourself to my probing participate in the quirky Q&A that is The Dissemination (of Thought) Files, send me an email with random and amusing facts about yourself.

If you’re not a Twit/Twat, check out The Dissemination of Thought Facebook page.

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24 Responses

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  1. Good interview…I feel like I have a greater understanding of everyone involved.

    Also, the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen have been from people unfortunately not under the sweet hand of alcohol.

    edrevets

    February 23, 2012 at 00:14

    • Lamentably, the stupidest things I’ve done haven’t occurred while under the effects of alcohol, either.

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 20:32

  2. great imagination, sober or drunk! haha

    thomag1

    February 23, 2012 at 00:33

  3. Now that is one photo I wouldn’t want to be caught dead in! Of course, am I referring to the New Kids on the Block pic or the nude running one?….

    crubin

    February 23, 2012 at 01:52

    • When I published the photos, it did occur to me that the naked people may have been fleeing from a NKOTB concert.

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 20:47

    • Thank you for the pick-your-own award nomination, and welcome to The Dissemination of Thought. Anyone who bestows blogging love upon me with their first comment is always welcome!

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 20:52

  4. Enjoyed the interview. I’ll have to check out the Rob Thomas. I miss Matchbox 20.

    kewsmith

    February 23, 2012 at 08:05

    • What’s your favourite Matchbox 20 song? I’ve always been a little partial to “Unwell”.

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 20:54

      • The live (or acoustic) version of Unwell gives it a whole new meaning. A lot more melancholy.

        OzSpinCycle

        February 24, 2012 at 21:51

      • “Unwell” is also a favorite of mine but a few others I love are “3 AM”, “If You’re Gone”, “Bright Lights”, and “Disease”. Easy to tell I really enjoy their music.

        kewsmith

        February 25, 2012 at 01:08

  5. I want to focus on one thing: NKOTB. Loved them. Still have a crush on Joey *as he was then*…
    Great interview!!

    Heather Christena Schmidt

    February 23, 2012 at 16:41

    • Ahhhh Heather. Joe McIntyre is my arch nemesis! My wife is crazy for the man, and I mean proper crazy, to the point that she recreated the Irish Power jacket that he wore in a photo shoot.

      She has managed to have it signed by him on one of her junkets to the US.

      OzSpinCycle

      February 23, 2012 at 21:27

      • HAH! I wouldn’t even be able to see him now because my crush is solely based on his 80s/90s self! Nonetheless, your wife is awesome in my book for recreating that jacket, hahahaha!!

        Heather Christena Schmidt

        February 23, 2012 at 22:27

    • Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the interview, but I’m more than a little disturbed by your “cryogenically frozen Joey” crush.

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 20:56

  6. TDoT, I see you got my good side in that photo. I’ve always thought I photographed better from the back.

    OzSpinCycle

    February 23, 2012 at 21:30

    • You’re definitely more photogenic with your door open.

      Thank you for being a The Dissemination (of Thought) Files victim.

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 20:58

  7. Oh, the accountant joke….makes my sphincter tighten up some.

    Adrienne schmadrienne

    February 24, 2012 at 12:28

    • Blame OzSpinCycle. I still can’t look the 2B pencil on my desk in the eye after editing this piece.

      disseminatedthought

      February 24, 2012 at 21:01

  8. Two twisted souls together…. the conversation was more structured than I thought it would be though! lol

    mLr

    February 29, 2012 at 21:02

    • Now, now, don’t be like that. How could a conversation between OzSpinCycle and myself be anything but structured?

      disseminatedthought

      March 4, 2012 at 21:33


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