The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

I’m officially a Twit (or is that a Twat?): blogging from the BlackBerry

with 34 comments

It’s finally happened. After years of avoiding the seemingly inevitable and pretending that I’m better than everyone else, I’ve become everything I’ve frequently professed to despise: a Twitter user.

As I signed up, I kept reassuring myself that I was only doing so to aid my journalism studies: budding journalists can’t not have a Twitter account, can they? My plan was to follow journalists, interesting celebrities (sorry, Kim Kardashian, you didn’t make the cut) and news sources. I had the genuine intention of remaining dignified and professional, but that aim had gone to shit by my third tweet, when I may or may not have mentioned gang bangs.

Okay, I didn’t actually mention gang bangs, I just used a #gangbang hashtag in response to a tweet by Heather at The B(itch)Log. Does that make it her fault?

Regardless of who’s to blame (Heather), it got me thinking about other useful – and offensive – hashtags that we could incorporate into everyday use, if for no other reason than to antagonise individuals who piss us off.

#thatlightisturningred – This one would have been handy for the taxi driver who drove me to the airport. For some reason, he thought that texting was a much better option than watching the road. He seemed to get offended when I suggested that we pro rata his fare, based on how often he actually looked out of the windscreen.

#putaleashonthatkid – As I write this, a kid is bouncing all over the seats in the departure lounge, much to the amusement of its parents. There will shortly be a need to use a #3reasonswhyithrewalatteatyourmunchkin hashtag.

#youarefuckingwelcome – I could have used this about 6,824 times during my time at the airport. Seriously people, are manners that foreign a concept to you?

#iknowthatwasyou – To the guy who farted while in line for coffee, and then proceeded to look around in disgust: we all know who it was. You should also see a medical professional about that smell.

#dutyfreerulessuck – What do you mean I can’t get cheap vodka if I’m only flying domestically?

If you want to follow me on Twitter, try
clicking here to be taken to my profile. If that doesn’t work, caress your mouse button on the link below.

Do you have any angry hashtags you’d like to see used?

That's right, it's a #gangbang hashtag. My mother would be so proud.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry on my BlackBerry Bold 9700

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34 Responses

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  1. Do you feel dirty now that you’re officially a Tweeter? Twatter?

    Adrienne schmadrienne

    February 2, 2012 at 13:01

  2. I don’t know about my favorite hashtags BUT my favorite use of hashtags is by Eden Brower. Chick is HILARIOUS! Raunchy but still 😀

    thefutureofhope

    February 2, 2012 at 13:04

    • Thanks for the recommendation. How could I not follow someone you describe as hilarious and raunchy?

      disseminatedthought

      February 2, 2012 at 14:38

  3. I cannot condone your usage of Twitter, but I can condone your humorous (or “humourous” for you Aussies) hashtags, or whatever they’re called. I will consider revoking my lack of condonement (is that a word?) once I cave and join Twitter.

    Curly Carly

    February 2, 2012 at 13:11

    • For some reason, we spell humorous the same way as you guys: it’s only “humour” we throw the extra “u” into.

      “Condonement” should be a word. In fact, let’s make it the unofficial word of the day!

      Do it. Join Twitter. Cave.

      disseminatedthought

      February 2, 2012 at 14:54

      • Oh, no! I didn’t know we were having a word of the day. I would’ve thrown that out during my meeting at work. It would’ve been humorous (thanks for that tid-bit…I had no idea).

        My main reason for not tweeting is that I’m already close to overwhelmed with social media lately. If people stop reading my blog, I’ll do it to fill the time. Maybe.

        Curly Carly

        February 3, 2012 at 12:03

      • As if they’re going to stop reading your stuff.

        Boys and girls, check out That’s Just Ridiculous, so Carly has a reason (in her head, at least) not to tweet.

        disseminatedthought

        February 3, 2012 at 14:39

  4. HA! You’re a Twatter. I hate Twitter but recognize it is a necessary evil. I’m sure your mentioning gang bangs was my fault. I like your other ones too, especially #youarefuckingwelcome!! My pride and joy Tweet this week was when I posted about wanting a string of pearls from my husband but that he’s laughing at me for it and I made up the hashtag #WhateverAsLongAsIGetThem haha

    Heather Christena Schmidt

    February 2, 2012 at 16:34

    • I think I was once described as “a necessary evil”. Or perhaps they said something about me being “unnecessarily evil”.

      disseminatedthought

      February 2, 2012 at 22:24

  5. Maybe you need to explain to me one day why this is all so necessary. I need to be enlightened. Is this what we do now instead of smoking cigarettes at the bus stop? I have an account but it’s to fwd. blog posts, and I follow a few writers as they have some decent links. In Italy (us regular folk) we don’t use it so much. So here’s the deal… you add me, and I’ll add you.

    Cakes McCain

    February 2, 2012 at 19:22

    • Don’t ask me, it’s my first day.

      If you’re seeking enlightenment, you’re looking in the wrong direction.

      disseminatedthought

      February 2, 2012 at 22:28

  6. Yeah, when I started blogging, I caved. What can I say? I’m a media whore.

    Anyway, I have a few for you

    #pleaseSTFU – I can’t tell you how many times in the day I would like to say this to rowdy kids at work.

    #wereyouborninabarn – People just don’t seem to know how to act. A couple of nights ago, my husband and I went into a pizza shop on our way home from work. We took a stroll around town while we waited for the kind Pakistani men to create our delicious pizza. Anyway, we walked alleys in our town that we’ve never even explored before. When we got back to the main, well-lit street, a man approached us and blatantly asked for money. What?!

    #needtoclensethegenepool – Which brings me to this one. Self-explanatory.

    #canyouspeakenglish – And I’m not talking to the nice Pakistani men. I’m talking to a group of teenagers we passed talking complete gibberish. LOL is not an actual word, and it’s probably disgraceful to use it outside of the internet.

    LunaSunshine

    February 2, 2012 at 23:46

    • They used “LOL” in a sentence? What the fuck?

      There is nothing wrong with being a media whore, view stats junkie or a blogging strumpet. As long as you get paid.

      disseminatedthought

      February 3, 2012 at 15:34

  7. i enjoy #therearenowords

    really sometimes you don’t even know what to say to a situation, but feel the need to share your shock and horror anyways.

    Bold Wandering

    February 3, 2012 at 04:59

    • Some people’s stupidity is just too much for words alone.

      Thank you for your contribution, and #welcometothedisseminationofthought.

      disseminatedthought

      February 3, 2012 at 14:47

  8. Oh Lyndon I gave you an award. Should I be annoying and tell you on twitter too?!

    http://thefutureofhope.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/the-i-now-want-alphabet-soup-award/

    thefutureofhope

    February 3, 2012 at 05:31

    • Thank you! And to answer your question, yes: all of the cool people are doing it on Twittter these days, and we’re at least as cool as all of the cool people.

      disseminatedthought

      February 3, 2012 at 15:19

  9. I’ve got a good one for you =] #noonecares
    Because sometimes you just don’t to keep listening to all that complaining!
    But you didn’t hear it from me ;D

    Anne-Sophie

    February 3, 2012 at 05:56

    • That’s a great hashtag, I get the feeling I’m going to have to use it. A lot.

      What about #istoppedlisteninganhourago? Too subtle?

      Welcome to TDoT, global meeting place for Twits and Twats.

      disseminatedthought

      February 3, 2012 at 14:50

      • Thanks =] looking forward to reading lots more!

        Anne-Sophie

        February 8, 2012 at 06:07

  10. It’s like you were in my brain with this post. After years of bitching about how stupid Twitter is, I also broke down and created a Twitter account earlier this week. Then I of course started writing a post about it, but thankfully mine does not involve any crop-dusting in the coffee line at the airport.

    I can’t claim this as my own, but this hashtag was popular in my area for a while: #heblowsalot.

    http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2011/nov/28/brownback-apologies-over-reacting-students-tweet/

    Suburban Enlightenment

    February 3, 2012 at 08:19

    • Aw, did the poor little politician have a sad about a hashtag?

      You really, really don’t want me in your brain. Seek medical attention. Urgently.

      disseminatedthought

      February 3, 2012 at 15:27

  11. Great post! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Oh, how we have both succumbed to the Twitter world!

    crubin

    February 3, 2012 at 12:14

    • Thanks for the feedback. Replying to all the comments and emails after being Freshly Pressed means I won’t have time to tweet until at least 5:28pm on 17 May, 2013.

      Welcome to my little place in the blogosphere, and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed yourself! For those of you who haven’t already done so, check out Carrie’s piece, “Birth Of A Social Networking Loner”, here.

      disseminatedthought

      February 3, 2012 at 14:59

  12. Found your blog via freshly pressed and I love it! I need to join the ranks of the twitterers – er, twatters? – but now I know I need to google hashtags to figure out what the heck those are. Do they work anything like this?: #confusedredheadnurturesinnerblonde

    valerie shultz

    February 4, 2012 at 03:55

    • The United League of Blog Twatters: that sounds so very wrong, yet incredibly amusing. I think it’s got potential.

      I’m glad you found me, and I’m even happier that you love The Dissemination of Thought. #welcomeaboard, and get tweeting!

      (Thanks for sharing your awesome hair hashtag, I’m still laughing at it as I type this.)

      disseminatedthought

      February 4, 2012 at 15:53

      • Glad I could give you a chuckle in return! If you start that league, I expect an invite (and a tutorial) 😀

        valerie shultz

        February 4, 2012 at 18:45

      • That sounds like a fair deal. Do we need uniforms, or just membership cards?

        disseminatedthought

        February 5, 2012 at 21:16

  13. How about #wasyourmomacrackwhore (because that would explain a lot)

    or

    #howdidyoumakeitthisfarinlife (Some people make me wonder)

    I love your blog, too. 🙂

    heathersnyder1

    February 4, 2012 at 07:34

    • They’re great! I’d love to introduce a #youareluckybreathingisinvoluntary hashtag.

      Thanks for stopping by TDoT, I hope to see you back here soon.

      disseminatedthought

      February 4, 2012 at 15:56

      • Hahaha! Awesome!
        Yes, I will be back for more TDoT.

        heathersnyder1

        February 6, 2012 at 12:48

  14. Welcome to the twitosphere. You will learn to like it there. It is a wonderful place, where you shout out your thoughts to the ether and hope someone listens back. It’s not so much about the narcissism of thinking your thoughts are important enough to be heard but understanding people really need to hear what you have to say.

    edrevets

    February 7, 2012 at 18:52

    • Aw, but the voices in my head told me that my thoughts were important.

      Thank you for your contribution, and welcome to The Dissemination of Thought, where Twits and Twats drink for free.

      disseminatedthought

      February 7, 2012 at 20:57


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