The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

I tweet, therefore I am…as boring as hell: lobotomising the world, one update at a time

with 25 comments

Even as I write this, I’m accosted by another ridiculously pointless, whiny status update from one of my Facebook friends. Fuck me. “[Name removed to protect their stupidity] is tired after a long day.” Really? Thanks for sharing that nugget of genius, but I’m now dumber for knowing you.

Does this really warrant a status update? Source:

Why does everyone, especially since social networking became idiot-proof, assume that the world wants to know what they’re doing 24 hours a day? Just because you can, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should.


I’ve written another article on Magnificent Nose entitled “Facebook and Twitter don’t care that you’re boring, but your status updates have the rest of us snoring: a Tahitian lime epiphany”, that examines the phenomenon of individuals who feel compelled to share every boring, mind-numbing detail about their feelings and dietary habits with the social networking universe.

Partly because of the instant audience that social networking platforms provide, we have become a society that is under the delusion that the world deserves–and apparently, wants–to know every detail about our lives. People seem to think that they are more exciting than they actually are, and the result is that they are sharing every boring, painfully nauseating facet of their monochromatically dull lives.

Here’s the sad reality: You are boring.

I came in pretty late on the whole Facebook tidal wave, somewhere around 2009, but at that stage people only posted interesting stuff. A quote. A song. Something amusing that had happened to them during the day. Jump forward 3 years, and with the advent of Twitter and the myriad of other social media platforms, every man and their dog (literally: pets have Facebook profiles now) thinks that they have a licence to post drivel. Boring drivel. Don’t believe me? It’s reached a point where we can categorise the inane rants into four specific types.

You know how it works. I tease you a little bit here, don’t give you my real phone number, and then force you to jump across to Magnificent Nose to read the full piece and achieve blogging fulfilment. Don’t pretend you didn’t know I was an asshole before you began following me.

“Whingy McBoring is angry at the weather.” Didn’t you get the memo? Clouds don’t have Wi-Fi. Source:

If you missed the obvious link above, you can continue reading “Facebook and Twitter don’t care that you’re boring, but your status updates have the rest of us snoring: a Tahitian lime epiphany” here. Enjoy.

Author’s note: remember to check out (and like) The Dissemination of Thought Facebook page. Come on, the more the merrier. I guarantee there won’t be any updates about me boiling an egg, nor will there be any vehement rants aimed at microwaves, toothbrushes or any other inanimate objects.


25 Responses

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  1. I would come up with something witty to comment, but I’m so tired after a long day that I’m going to go post about it on every single social network I have.

    Heather Christena Schmidt

    January 16, 2012 at 15:40

    • That’s probably the best option. I’m going to post on Facebook that I’ve run out of white bread and have to make do with wholemeal.


      January 16, 2012 at 15:43

  2. I’m not missing Facebook at all having left it a week ago. Someday, these platforms will seem incredibly dated and will just represent a particular time in our lives. Who knows what the next big thing will be?

    I'd Rather Be In Iceland

    January 16, 2012 at 15:51

  3. I think it started with cell phones, and the idea that you should be available at any time wherever you happen to be. By extension everything you’re doing must be interesting, right? Even if you’re just taking a really difficult crap.


    January 16, 2012 at 16:50

    • Why do they think that having 24/7 access to social networking automatically makes them less boring?

      Unless your difficult bowel movement is causing you to see rainbows, unicorns and green elephants floating around the room, it’s probably not worth mentioning.


      January 16, 2012 at 17:05

  4. Very true blog. People really should stop thinking others give a shit about their whingy updates. An update about having a baby or something is informative but complaining about having to go to work (no one cares).

    It is always funny reading people’s updates when all they do is complain.

    Cameron Keane

    January 16, 2012 at 16:51

    • Funny? I find it painful.


      January 16, 2012 at 17:00

    • It’s funny to read about someones miserable life. It is painful to read the shape of turd their cat left on the floor. Those posts are easy to spot though; no punctuation, an emoticon, big bold letters, etc.


      January 16, 2012 at 17:19

      • When someone’s posting a dozen inane status updates a day about everything, from their boring breakfast to how much they’re missing their dog while they are at work, it’s difficult to find anything amusing about their miserable life.

        Thanks for your contribution to the discussion, and welcome to The Dissemination of Thought.


        January 16, 2012 at 18:24

  5. Yes! And seriously…. what the fuck is cafe world? Some guy I used to know from three years ago keeps sending me “cupcake mix” or “lemonade.” Why, Jesus? Why? I’m guilty of putting down those stupid posts. Even when I think i have something interesting to say, I don’t tend to get very much feedback. If it weren’t for so much social networking, I might actually have time to be productive in life.
    Anyway, there’s some of my importance for you read.


    January 16, 2012 at 17:14

    • (And let me just add, that I don’t like reading much. I do. But blogs? I mean, who really wants to sit down and read someones 1500 word philosophy about why they are lactose intolerant? Not I. I really enjoyed this by the way.)


      January 16, 2012 at 17:16

      • I’m happy to advise that The Dissemination of Thought is closing in on 60 posts, and there is yet to be any mention of lactose intolerance.

        In regard to your Café World comment, I kept getting FarmVille requests to plough people’s fields. What do I look like, a farming man-whore?


        January 16, 2012 at 18:26

  6. I say we get us some nice titanium bats, get them all in a room… and we’ll give ’em something to tweet about.

    Cakes McCain

    January 16, 2012 at 18:50

    • Are you planning on fitting the bats with foam safety covers?


      January 16, 2012 at 18:59

      • Tsk tsk…you should know better – that ain’t how I roll.

        But a quick note on the new “time line format” I have yet to find anything more nerve grinding. Not only do I have to receive the coma-inducing of up-dates of Whingy McBoring, I also have to be privy to their life story, hemmorroid removal, and bad haircut circa 2010.

        Cakes McCain

        January 16, 2012 at 19:13

      • Those bad salon/barber experiences can haunt you.


        January 16, 2012 at 19:27

      • bein a farmhand aint to easy job. You gotta work hard. A lotta clicking buttons and such.


        January 17, 2012 at 09:03

  7. I think I should post a link to this on my friend’s page who posted “Oh Monday, be good to me.”‘

    Adrienne schmadrienne

    January 16, 2012 at 23:59

    • You should probably also tell your friend that Wednesday is a fairer and more generous day; Monday’s got attitude and issues.


      January 17, 2012 at 07:54

  8. hahaha! this blog was on point. thank you so much for sharing this!!!!! : ) i enjoy your blogs so much. they are straight forward. i like!


    January 17, 2012 at 14:14

  9. I especially loved the quote from the movie “Easy A” : “Mr. Griffith: I don’t know what your generation’s fascination is with documenting your every thought… but I can assure you, they’re not all diamonds. “Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.” Who gives a rat’s ass?”

    Proof positive that this has been dually noted. We are certainly not the first to have stumbled upon this disgusting phenomenon. Personally, I only like to share funny thoughts / situations, or important events. Sometimes, they converge to make a hilarious anecdote. More importantly, I have a difficult time believing that the important subjects are interesting or relevant.

    While I feel the tug to document certain portions of my life, it’s not every boring occurrence. Mainly, chronicling what it’s like to live with mental illness. I wake up, shuffle down to the bathroom, and sit down to check my email / Facebook just like everyone else. The only exception is that I am taking handfuls worth of pills to wake me up, keep me calm, and get me on my feet for the day.

    Maybe there is some kind of exemption for people who came in late on Facebook. Facebook was this exclusive club for people who had university email addresses. I did not. It went live in . . . ? 2006? I didn’t actually start using it until 2008, although I created an account when it went live. Hilariously enough, I went in there to change my maiden name to my married name. I discovered 50+ friend requests, and at least a dozen messages. Seriously?

    And I knew you were an asshole. That’s part of the fun!


    January 19, 2012 at 16:03

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