The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Chivalry, a dirty nappy and the peak hour traveller that wasn’t happy

with 13 comments

I’ve guest written a piece today for Magnificent Nose entitled ”Chivalry and the Shifting Goal Posts”. Funnily enough, it’s about chivalry, but it’s also got an angry woman on a bus and a sentence that concludes with “makeshift nappy for an infant with explosive diarrhoea.” How can you not be intrigued?

To tempt you with the toxic fruit of my mind, here’s a little glimpse behind the curtain:

No one wants to watch the early morning news story about an overnight murder and have to ask themselves, “Was that dismembered corpse floating in the river my date?” Gentlemen, nothing makes a more negative impression on your potential bed mate than her getting mugged while walking home alone, purely because you were too lazy to accompany her for the 600m journey back to her apartment. The only thing that will make this worse is if you refused to do so because the pub was still serving $5 pints, or because you wanted to see what happened in extra time. Should you do so, the only time you will ever see her again is if you catch her slashing your tyres or setting fire to your mailbox.

I know you want to keep reading this article, so click here to jump across to Magnificent Nose; if you don’t, they will beat me and I’ll cry like a 2-year-old girl. You really, really don’t want to see me crying and throwing a hissy fit.

Source of original photograph: honeyhype.com

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13 Responses

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  1. I dunno… I think it could be quite humorous to see you throw a hissy fit!

    thefutureofhope

    January 9, 2012 at 17:02

    • I guess so, considering I curl up into a ball the size of a Volkswagen Beetle.

      disseminatedthought

      January 9, 2012 at 17:07

      • Awww VW Beetles are sooo cute. Wait, vintage or modern? And, yes, this will completely change the outcome of this conversation…

        thefutureofhope

        January 11, 2012 at 17:49

      • Vintage. The modern ones look comical and sad.

        disseminatedthought

        January 11, 2012 at 17:55

      • Oh thank goodness! 2 for 2: Pancakes and Vintage Beetles. You also got a nice bloggage space and commentary 😀

        thefutureofhope

        January 11, 2012 at 19:05

  2. HAH! “…toxic fruit of my mind…” isn’t that what all our minds consist of? Hahaha!!

    Heather Christena Schmidt

    January 9, 2012 at 18:07

  3. I don’t understand some or many people either. I always respond to acts of chivalry such as door holding, seat offering, or jacket offering with a big smile and sweet thank you. As to the puddle of water, you could sweep your date off her feet and carry her over the puddle thus saving her shoes and your jacket. That would impress the hell out of me! Of course, the carrying her over the puddle assumes your date doesn’t outweigh you.

    sandylikeabeach

    January 9, 2012 at 23:05

    • It also assumes that your date doesn’t carry capsicum spray and/or a box cutter in her Prada handbag.

      disseminatedthought

      January 9, 2012 at 23:11

  4. I like the old-time chivalry of a guy carrying your books home from school for you.

    Adrienne schmadrienne

    January 10, 2012 at 02:28

    • Absolutely. Issues of the romantic persuasion were a lot simpler when I didn’t understand much and there were no expectations. Sometimes, carrying books just so that girl would sit with you at lunch was enough.

      disseminatedthought

      January 10, 2012 at 08:22

  5. A quick thanks for responding to my blog today, which turned into me reading pages and pages here. If it didn’t hit so close to home I bet I would have gotten back to work sooner, instead of sitting here laughing with you. Unfortunately, when it comes to the Facebook rant, I’m fucked the poster of “I’m eating breakfast, I’m bored, I’m hungry, ummm I just ate a 10,000calorie burger with giant fries and a milk shake, et al” is about 200 pounds overweight, always sick and is related. The downer who shares her life multiple times a day beginning with something like, “[*sigh*] oh joy nothing good ever happens there is also related. I solved that by only looking at fb every few days.

    I also took care of the reality stuff by not watching the telly and turned to reading blogs instead. 😀 Works for me. Cheers, Shez

    And yes, I LOVE CARS. Anyone looking through my photos, discs, portfolios, phone, sd cards would assume I’m a guy.

    SL Schildan

    January 11, 2012 at 16:58

    • I’ve tried only looking at Facebook every few days, but I just can’t do it; I might last 12 hours or so, but then I find myself fumbling for my BlackBerry to make sure I haven’t missed anything critical or amusing.

      Thank you for your contribution, and welcome to The Dissemination of Thought: incident and accident-free since 7:15am.

      disseminatedthought

      January 11, 2012 at 17:46


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