The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Confessions of a view stats junkie: I am a tagging gigolo

with 16 comments

In the wake of Tinkerbelle being called a blogging streetwalker, and with WordPress subtlety suggesting that I may be a little loose with my use of tags, the truth abruptly slapped me in the face with a rotting fish. I am a tagging whore.

Every time I publish a piece, WordPress politely and discreetly tells me how many tags I’ve defiled it with, only to then – in what seems to be virtual mocking – inform me that 10 the optimal number in order for readers to find TDoT. You know what, WordPress? It’s my blog and I’ll tag if I want to.

Author’s note: in order to achieve full visual impact, you need to read this while imagining Lesley Gore singing and yours truly throwing a temper tantrum.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m also addicted to checking the view statistics for my blog. WordPress for BlackBerry has enabled this monkey on my back, allowing me to acquire a fix with childlike simplicity, regardless of where I am. I’ve found myself waking up in the middle of the night and reaching for my phone, all the while cognisant of the fact it’s three o’clock in the morning and that normal people are sleeping. Thank fuck for TDoT readers in different time zones.

I’m planning to ponder my addiction and whoring over the weekend. I’m going to ask myself the big questions. For now though, I need to track down a suitable pair of hooker boots, as well as locate a corner on which to stand and check how many people have viewed my blog while I’ve been posting this.

21 tags: sorry WordPress, but I’m a filthy, blogging strumpet.

“Does my bum look big in these boots?” Source: kaizan28.hubpages.com

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry on my BlackBerry Bold 9700

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16 Responses

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  1. My God, this made me smile and then laugh quietly. (A big deal, given that I do none of that laughing out loud at the written word crap) You make up for my pitiful number of tags, I suppose.

    And if you get those boots and stand on a corner, I’ll knock you over and jack them right off your feet. : P I may or may not be joking!

    ellenesce

    December 10, 2011 at 14:01

    • Wouldn’t a men’s 13 be a teensie weensie bit big for you?

      disseminatedthought

      December 10, 2011 at 14:48

      • I’ll put them in the oven! Shrink wrap, right?

        ellenesce

        December 10, 2011 at 18:06

      • At least you’ll have a good story about the time you baked hooker boots.

        disseminatedthought

        December 10, 2011 at 18:09

  2. You have a way with words, my friend!

    mj monaghan

    December 10, 2011 at 17:15

    • I decided to focus on my writing, as there are limited man-whoring opportunities for a giant in red boots who checks his BlackBerry every six minutes.

      Thanks for your feedback, and welcome to The Dissemination of Thought. Is that your Maserati parked out the front? If so, it was scratched when I got here.

      disseminatedthought

      December 10, 2011 at 17:24

  3. To answer your question, the boots would likely lift rather than make your butt look big… There is a reason hookers wear the boots! Welcome to hookerdom!

    thefutureofhope

    December 10, 2011 at 19:02

    • I’ll keep that in mind when I’m next in the market for shoes with which to walk the streets while I blog.

      disseminatedthought

      December 10, 2011 at 19:09

  4. As a frequent “refresher” of stats, I feel your pain.

    I'd Rather Be In Iceland

    December 11, 2011 at 22:17

    • Do you think there’s potential for a support group to help view stats addicts? Frequent Refreshers Anonymous?

      Welcome to TDoT – I hope you enjoy looking around.

      disseminatedthought

      December 12, 2011 at 06:37

  5. So funny. OMG @ those boots. Filthy, blogging strumpet? I’m agreeing with mj – you do have a way with words!

    vixytwix

    December 12, 2011 at 01:41

    • Thank you for your positive feedback, and welcome to The Dissemination of Thought. Please feel free to help yourself to the complimentary juice and biscuits.

      disseminatedthought

      December 12, 2011 at 06:32

  6. Truth be told? The word “whore” is timeless and can never be overused. Hello, Tagging Whore, and thanks for appreciating disturbing humor. I dig your humor too. Please recycle those cans!

    Solomon

    December 12, 2011 at 15:01

    • There are so many synonyms for it – “strumpet” is my new favourite. Actually, that could be a great blog name for a working girl with musical ability: The Strumpet with the Trumpet.

      Welcome to TDoT. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t walk on the timber floor in those shoes.

      disseminatedthought

      December 12, 2011 at 15:11

  7. Ahahah! I don’t think I can put into words how much I love this. I think its like a modern day AA, but called the SS (Stats strumpets :)).

    tinkerbelle86

    December 13, 2011 at 23:02

    • Can we get t-shirts and membership cards?

      Welcome to The Dissemination of Thought. I’m sorry, but our quota of blogging whores has already been reached. Do you mind waiting out in the car park?

      disseminatedthought

      December 14, 2011 at 11:22


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