The Dissemination of Thought

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's intelligent…

Tattoo customer gets the shaft

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Life’s full of surprises.  Some good, some bad, and some are a turkey slap in the face from left field.  My surprise for the day was that after almost 3 months without blogging, I’d get to use “penis tattoo” as a tag in my first post back.  The surprise I experienced probably pales in comparison however, to the surprise a 25-year-old guy felt when he realised he had a 40cm penis tattooed on his back.  Yep, you read right.  A dick.  The family jewels.  Meat and two veg.

According to the article in The Courier-Mail, the victim had requested a yin and yang symbol along with dragons incorporated into the design, had a falling out with the amateur tattooist and then proceeded to allow him to carry out the tattooing.  What the fuck? Perhaps I am not as trusting as the victim, but there is no way in hell I would allow someone I’d just had an argument with near me with a tattoo gun.  Come to think of it, I have a rule of not allowing anyone who carries out a professional service under the amateur banner from their house near me with anything sharp.  I include DIY dentists, orthopaedic surgeons and hairdressers under this umbrella.  Each to their own, but it’s a rule that’s served me pretty well thus far: as a result of adhering to it, I don’t have a huge tattoo of a cock and an apparently offensive slogan on my back.  Nor do I have any gaps in my smile where a problem tooth has been extracted with nothing more than a pair of fencing pliers and a shot of moonshine for anaesthetic.

In reference to the offensive slogan, it appears that the tattooist misspelled the key word. What that key word was is anyone’s guess, but my question pertains to whether the spelling faux pas was a deliberate act, or whether it was the result of one too many missed English classes in high school.  I would hazard a guess that it was the latter, but this is based on two fundamental assumptions:

Assumption 1

An artist’s professionalism is reflective of the environment in which they work.  Considering this artist was working in an environment where a zap in the microwave probably constituted tool sterilisation, one can only assume he doesn’t do much research on spelling prior to putting ink to skin.

Assumption 2

The guy actually got as far as high school.

What does this whole experience teach us?  Yeah, the tattooist is an asshole, but more importantly, it shows what happens when you have a brain explosion and decide to let a person put a permanent marking on you moments after you have had an argument with said person. In my opinion, the victim deserves to be the recipient of a Darwin Award.  Does anyone know a way to expedite natural selection?

I was going to try to sneak a cheeky Dragon Ball reference into this post, but figured after such a long absence I should kick things off on a somewhat higher level of maturity.  Let’s face it: the quality of jokes and innuendo is going to hit rock bottom again before too long.

It’s good to be back.

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