Ifs, Buts and Political Peanuts: Why Salted Legumes Cost More in Canberra

The last time I went to a circus, I was in Brisbane and paid about $75 for my ticket.

My most recent visit to a zoo was while visiting Perth and, from memory, the privilege cost me somewhere in the vicinity of $20.

Why does it cost so much more to watch dancing bears, juggling clowns and those dopey-looking penguins when the show’s in Canberra?

When you consider what we pay our Federal politicians to carry on like petulant children, it’s easy to see why so many people become disillusioned and why our elected officials rate somewhere between journalists, used car salespeople and serial killers on the scale of professional trust.

“I know the answer to that!” Source: theage.com.au

Prime Minister Julia Gillard hasn’t been able to use any words other than sexist, misogynist and offended this week.

For that, Australians paid almost half a million dollars.

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott achieved the seemingly impossible and sunk lower than broadcaster Alan Jones when he slipped the old “died of shame” nugget into a speech during question time.

That will be about $350,000, thank you very much.

Yes, we elected this man. No, I’m not joking. I wish I was. Source: thepunch.com.au

You have to feel sorry for Peter Slipper, the disgraced former Speaker of the House of Representatives.

When Mr Slipper fell on his controversy-plagued sword on Tuesday night, he took a pay cut of more than $140,000.

Hopefully, he won’t struggle too much on his adjusted annual salary of a touch under $200,000.

Am I the only one who feels like we are currently getting short-changed on the Federal political front?

We need the best people representing us – being our voice – in Federal Parliament and I am all for paying top dollar to attract them, especially when you take into account the salaries individuals of that calibre would command in the private sector.

What we are presently seeing and reading about day after day in Canberra suggests that, in many instances, we have fallen well short in identifying the best candidates when we went to the polls in 2010.

There’s an old idiom that suggests if you pay peanuts, you will find yourself surrounded by monkeys.

Yeah, he’s worth $200,000 every year. I hope he’s not dreaming of text messages. Source: thepunch.com.au

Unfortunately, the peanuts the Australian public are feeding the current residents of Parliament Zoo cost hundreds of thousands of dollars per bag.

Worse still, once you have purchased a bag of the exorbitantly-priced legumes and realise it was too much to spend on the political animals performing behind the smudged glass, you can’t get a refund for three years.

If our Federal politicians continue to carry on like angry five-year-old chimpanzees, I for one will be advocating covering our nation’s capital in Nobby’s nuts.

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They say any sex is good sex, so why doesn’t it apply to marriage?

There are several reasons that I’m pro-gay marriage. Most of the reasons are based on common sense, and the belief that the free choice and the option to make important life decisions shouldn’t be restricted by the fact that you are a boy who likes other boys, or a girl who likes girls. One of the other reasons is that this is the twenty-first century, and we tend not to burn people at the stake for appearing to be different anymore. If you believe what you read in the media, it would appear that I’m not alone, and that the public voice in support of marriage equality is gradually getting louder. One would hope that those whom we have elected to act on our behalf would genuinely hear this voice, but it seems that a lot of them only hear what they want to hear. Exhibit A in support of this argument is John Murphy, the Labor MP who doesn’t believe that there is a strong public backing for change, and whom suggested last week that ALP members who advocate same-sex marriage should “join the Greens”. Really, John? Perhaps you should take a look at the ALP’s values, which include fairness, as well as democracy and freedom.

Labor believes that all people are created equal in their entitlement to dignity and respect.

Labor values the freedom of all people to hold whatever beliefs they choose while respecting those of others, and the freedom to express those beliefs without fear or favour.

I’m lucky to be surrounded by a lot of amazing people in my life. Some of them are straight, and some of them aren’t. Some of them are married, and some of them are aren’t legally able to be. A few of my close friends are in long-term, committed same-sex relationships, but the option to take the next step in their commitment isn’t afforded to them. There’s every chance that they may not want to get married, but it’s a moot point – shouldn’t they have the right to choose for themselves? They work. They pay taxes. They contribute to society as much as anyone else, yet on the face of it, our elected law makers seem to believe that they shouldn’t have the same rights as other Australians bestowed upon them. When you remove all of the emotion and bullshit excuses from the equation, all the current laws do are prohibit people in same-sex couples an option that is unchallenged and freely available to heterosexual Australians.

Australia purports itself to be one of the most developed, culturally forward-thinking countries on the planet. If this is to truly be the case, we can’t continue to deprive individuals of the free choice to make the same life decisions as everyone else, based purely on that individual’s sexual orientation.

God: Liberal candidate for Chifley

I didn’t realise that elected members had the ability to bestow their votes, let alone to a fictitious, omnipotent being. If that’s the case, why doesn’t someone run in the next election and then give their votes to Batman – at least then things will get done, albeit in an unconventional, vigilante manner. As far as I can ascertain, the only person aware of this apparent loophole was David Barker, the dumped Liberal candidate for Chiefly, who – according to his now defunct Facebook account – believes that the Almighty would be an excellent candidate for Federal Parliament.

Religion has no place in politics. It never has and never will, because religion at its core promotes (even if inadvertently) the notion that only the values and beliefs that it is based on are correct, and that any non-believers or those of differing religious affiliation are wrong and misguided. David’s bigoted attitude certainly backs this observation up, as he has stated that non-Christians are “worshipping a false god” and that if elected, would give his votes to God. He has openly asserted that he believes there is no place in Australian politics for either an atheist or someone of Islamic faith, but that he, as someone of strong Christian faith, can push our country in the right direction.

The individuals we need in Parliament to develop and administer policy for the collective population as a whole need to be able to transcend their personal religious ideologies for the greater good. They need to work alongside those who are of a similar religious persuasion and those who are not – some will even be non-religious. People have a predisposition to distrust and cynicism when it comes to politicians, and we need more voters to take a genuine interest in politics. Having someone like David Barker using the political forum as his own personal pulpit does nothing to aid the cause of politics in Australia, especially when he comes out with nuggets of wisdom like “Voting should only be voluntary for Liberal and National voters the rest can not bother since with every vote they bring the nation closer to the brink of disaster and closer to the hands of a [sic] muslim country.” If I understand this correctly, he assumes that all Liberal and National Party voters are Christians? So by his reasoning, if one were to vote for Labor or (heaven forbid, the Greens) we would be dooming Australia to certain disaster? Where the fuck did the Liberals find this moron?

I am a big advocate of free speech and free choice. The concepts are part of what make Australia a great place to live. You can essentially believe and say whatever you wish – this of course includes religious choice. My biggest gripe is when people choose to push their thoughts and beliefs on the rest of the population without any regard for whether the masses want to hear their message, or whether they agree with the beliefs. The only thing that pisses me off more than this is when some clown uses religion as the base for their political platform and sees fit to subtlety attack anyone who doesn’t align themselves with the beliefs of the aforementioned clown. While I do agree that Julia Gillard isn’t our best option as Prime Minister, it’s not because she’s an atheist. Actually, the fact she doesn’t reference everything she does to God is one of her most endearing qualities – I just don’t agree with the ALP policies or her as a leader. That’s the difference Mr Barker – some of us base our votes and decisions on more than what religious figure a candidate does or doesn’t believe in. Did you actually have a strategy to win votes David, or were you just running for selection because God had told you to? I guess God neglected to mention that coming across as an unintelligent, bigoted, religious nut case with your constituents was never going to wash.

For some obscure reason, I’ve got an inclination to watch Star Wars. Damn, I nearly got through the whole post without a Jabba the Hutt reference. Oh well, I guess I’m going to be condemned to the depths of hell. What’s new?